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© 2014 Emma Norman. All Rights Reserved.


Dinner, as I expected it to be, was awkward as fuck. Jason glared at me from across the table for the entire evening, having apparently overheard the argument which I had with Braydon and knowing that I had cheated on, I was lucky that he didn't stick around for long enough to find out who the actual father of the baby was; John couldn't even bring himself to look me and the disappointment was still obvious in his eyes; my parents simply ignored me and acted as though I didn't even exist for those three hours that we were sat around the table for and Vivienne simply didn't have a clue as she attempted to make light conversation with me throughout the evening.

I hadn't wanted to be rude to her, but I had resorted to telling her to fuck off, especially when she didn't get the message that I really wasn't in the mood for conversation. I especially wasn't in the mood for conversation about how her best friend is pregnant with her seventh child and how she wished that she had been able to give Matthew a sibling, rather than leaving him as an only child.

After that outburst, I stormed out of the dining room, ignoring the calls of my parents to return to the table until I had eaten my dinner, and disappeared into my bedroom. I slammed the door behind me and, either they got the message that I wasn't in the mood for their shit or they just didn't give a shit, but they didn't disturb me for the rest of the night—in fact, they didn't disturb me for the entire weekend, and the only time one of them spoke to me was when Jason told me that I needed to eat because it wasn't good for the baby to starve myself.

And now, after a shitty weekend, I was going to have to endure five days of hell at the place they school. These five days were only made worse when your entire family give you the silent treatment, your boyfriends ends his relationship with you, and the guy you slept with knows that he's the father of your baby. The only person who had stood beside me and hadn't turned against me was Jodie, though even I suspect that she's not going to be around for too much longer.

She is going to be fed up with me by the end of the week and she is going to be telling me to never speak to me again, especially if I keep up with these constant and ridiculous mood swings. I was fine one second and then wanting to stab the person closest to me the next.

"You don't need to be here. I was being serious when I told you that you could stay at mine, and you know that my mother loves you. She was more than prepared for you to spend the day in the spare bedroom," Jodie spoke softly as we pulled into the car park, the usual people surrounding us as they went about their usual Monday ritual of waiting for their friends and preparing themselves for the day they were going to have to endure.

"I need to be here. I need to know what, if anything, has been said about me and what people know," I wasn't going to be forced out of school by people, I was going to hold my head high and I wasn't going to let people force me out of here.

I had never given a damn about what people thought of me before and I never cared for what they said about me either, but this was different and there was something else which I needed to satisfy before I took to hiding away. I suddenly found myself wanting to know every single person thought of me and I wanted to know if they were brave enough to say it to my face, or whether they were words which they would mutter in their groups.

I was feeling somewhat brave today, even though Jodie had insisted that I spend the day at her place with her mother and we could talk baby names and whatnot, and I was ready to face the worst of what was going to be said about me. I was ready for the laughs; I was ready for the jokes; I was even ready for the comments about what a slut I and about how I was willing to sleep with anyone who threw themselves at me. I was even ready for all the speculation which was going to come as they attempted to figure out who the father was.

"I am sure that they know nothing," Jodie attempted to reassure me, but even I could see that the smile on her face was just as unconvincing as their words. "None of them are going to even know you're pregnant."

"You didn't hear my parents, Jods. They were constantly dropping hints, ensuring that I knew of their disappointment, and even Matthew guessed that the pregnancy was actually real. He knows that he is going to be a father," I pointed out. I had, after Friday night, spent the entire weekend at Jodie's place with her and her mother, where we had watched movies and feasted on junk food for the entire two days.

I had, at one point, caught John giving me a sympathetic look during the time I allowed myself to sit at the table for. Matthew almost looked as though he felt sorry for me, but that all changed when he made some smartass remark to me about how, if I was pregnant, then I would become fatter and uglier than I already was. It took everything I had not to turn around and punch him straight in the face.

I was impressed with the restraint I had, not that anyone else noticed the chat which took place between Matthew and I, not when they were too wrapped up in their own worlds and conversations to even notice that we were talking to each other.

"I am here for you, Clo. I know that I was shocked when you first told me, but I think over the course of this weekend, I have proven that I am here for you if you need me. Even if you feel like breaking down in the middle of the day, then I am here for you," Jodie smiled, linking her arm with my own as we walked down the corridor, and I knew that there was a reason the two of us stuck together through thick and thin. Even when the going got tough and I wasn't sure that we would ever survive it, we remained together and we were now inseparable. "I still have a freezer with Ben and Jerries, and a shelf full of chick flicks to watch."

"You are getting to be a bad influence on me, Jodie Murray," I laughed.

"Have you spoken to Braydon?"

"I tried," I muttered, recalling the way our conversation had ended on Friday night when I attempted to make amends for the hurt I had chosen. "He told me that loving me was the worst thing he had ever done and, if he could take back the last eighteen months, then he would and he would give them to someone who actually deserved his time."

"I am sure that all he needs is a little time. This is a big thing, you cheated on him and got pregnant with someone else's child, so you can't expect him to accept it just like that," Jodie was trying, I knew that she was trying, but I had accepted that Braydon wanted nothing more to do with me and I had even accepted his hatred for me.

"I think that he needs more than a little time," I stated, not really paying attention to the people who were around me, "I think a DVD and ice cream night, again, is the perfect way to spend this evening."

"You have some amazing ideas at times," Jodie grinned like a complete idiot.

"But, only if you don't mention the baby, Braydon or Matthew?" I giggled, coming to a stop outside the door to my History class.

"Why would you not want to mention me? I mean, look at me—" Matthew interrupted the pair of us, leaning against the opposite wall with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face, and I actually wanted to punch him again.

"What the hell do you want?" If there was one thing I couldn't be doing with today, then it was Matthew Jenkinson and his cocky comments, not when I had had a rather pleasant weekend away from both of those things.

"I just wanted to let you know how much fun I had on Friday night. It's good to know that you are able to let go of the past, if only for one evening," he chuckled, though I think that it was more towards his own comment rather than at either Jodie or I.

"Great. Anything else?"

Matthew walked over to me, putting his hand on the wall, standing beside me. He moved my hair out of my face and leaned in close, his lips were barely inches away from my eyes, and I seemed to lack the obvious sexual tension which should have existed when he was stood as close to me as he was right now.

Instead, the only thing I felt towards him was the revulsion, and the urge to push him the hell away from me. The smell of his cologne was providing me with a hurling sensation and while he may have enjoyed his face being as close to mine as it was, I could have happily slapped him without a second thought.

"Yeah. I guess you forgot to mention to your parents that I was the one who got you pregnant?" He whispered callously before he pushed away from me and walked away with a satisfied grin on his face, leaving me with just one thought as I did so.

I was so fucking screwed.

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