prologue

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     the cigarette shook between eddies pink fingers as he struggled to get the lighter going. he had never used a lighter before, and soon realized the whole idea of it was a waste.
     he returned to the store and instead bought a pack of matches. this, he knew how to use. he struck the tip against the bottom of the box, creating flame and bringing it to the tip of his cigarette. he stamped out the match, letting the smoke he once swore never to lay a finger on fill his lungs.
     he felt himself drowning in guilt as the smoke left his lips, yet immediately brought the stick back to his lips for another drag.

-

     his leather satchel smacked against richie's hip, his black curls bouncing along his head. he ran down the sidewalk, coffee dribbling out of the cup. he dodged people along the way and crossed the street a few times before he was supposed to, but successfully arrived to his lecture with no harm done.
     he settled himself into his seat and opened his notebook, listening intently. his professor had just begun speaking as he finished getting situated.
     richie was doing great. nyu treated him well. stan was is roommate and they attended parties nearly every weekend. richie had a temporary job at a news post where he served as a journalist and photographer. their dorm was always neat, courtesy of stanley uris, and honestly, richie couldn't have been better.
     he was seeing a girl named pam, who was very kind. she had curly brown hair and was very respectful, which is what richie adored so much. she was herself. not someone else.
     as for the other losers, beverly and ben went off to separate colleges to study in different fields, yet write letters every other day. bill didn't go to college and instead pursued his dream to become an author. mike stayed back in derry as a librarian.
     unfortunately, one loser broke contact. specifically eddie. no one had heard from him for the past while, and he'd practically gone unremembered. into dust.
     "tozier!" daniel called after the lecture, running up the hallway and nudging richie on the shoulder. "stubble! suits you, man! makes you look less like a horny pre teen."
   richie laughed, "cut it out, dan. i just forgot to shave."
    "it seriously looked great. don't shave it. how's things with pam?"
     "oh, they're wonderful."
     "even the boobs?"
     "daniel!" richie snickered.
     "let's go get a burger?" dan grinned.
     "thought you were losing weight? so you could fit into your prom dress?"
     "you know what, actually," richie hummed, digging through his bag. he lifted his hand out, flipping dan off.
     daniel grinned, "i'll see you around, rich. tell stan i said hello."
-

     eddies walk to his apartment was excruciatingly cold. the tip of his nose was colored pink and his fingers shook, he lit another cigarette in an attempt to warm himself, which only left him colder.
     he pulled out his hand-knitted hat his mother had made for him back in high school, colored light blue and slid it over his hair. it warmed his ears. he unfortunately left his gloves at home, so he stuffed his hands into his pockets as his teeth chattered.
     the streets of new york were flooded. people everywhere, like an ocean. he curved and ducked and leaned to avoid being hit or shoved. even at night humans lurk. he chewed his cheeks, leaving blisters of anxiety as the blood seeped against his cheeks.
     he unlocked his door and kicked the snow off his tennis shoes, taking them off as soon as he got inside and inhaled the stench of uncleanliness. where did everything go wrong?
     he dodged piles of dirty clothes and half-eaten dishes, walking into his bedroom and taking off his belt. he tossed it onto his dresser and pulled down his jeans, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping that onto the floor as well.
     he prepared himself a hot shower, stepping in and letting the water rinse him of the smell of smoke. he ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at himself, curling into a ball as he crumpled to the floor. he felt himself begin to cry, although the tears flooded away with the shower. he shook.
he washed himself with the lavender scented body wash he'd loved since high school. the one richie always liked the most. his shampoo smelled of vanilla, which left richie sniffing his hair while they cuddled, leaving them both to giggle. eddies chest grew tight, leaving him lurching over and gripping his stomach. his nails tug into his hands, leaving crescents as traces. the sudden burst of pain in his palm reminded eddie he was still alive, and he caught his breath.
turning off the water, he dried off and got dressed. he lifted his medications to his lips with shaking hands, watching himself in the mirror. he could see the redness overlapping with the everlasting bags of sleepless nights.
he lay down on his bed, pulling the blanket up to his shoulder and closing his eyes, yet it was no use. for, he woke up within an hour, sweat dripping from his head. his breathing unable to slow. the thought of richie rested on his head, and unable to find its way out.

tiny dancer. //reddie (heartless sequel)Where stories live. Discover now