chapter 62: out of the hospital

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> Carsons POV

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> Day 4 out of the hospital:

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> "Carson. Carson." I open my eyes to see my mother standing over me. "Its breakfast time." She tells me. I look around and suddenly everything thats happened rushes back into my brain. I make some kind of noise and roll back over.

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> "Hey, Wake up.Come on." This time my slumber was disturbed by my father. I could tell by the lack of light in the room that it was sometime at night. "Its dinner time. Do you want me to have Niall bring you food up here?" His words don't phase me. I just shake my head and lay back down.

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> "Carson, Please love." I hear Niall this time.

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> "Hmm?" I say looking at him. He has some kind of food with him. "No." I say shaking my head. I don't want food. I want sleep.

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> "please? Let me feed it too you and then you can go to sleep again." I deiced with Niall I won't win and maybe they'll stop waking me up. I sit up slowly and open. He takes a spoon full of food and I open my mouth. As soon as I taste it I name it as my favorite food. Mac and Cheese. I chew slowly and try not to look at Niall. I feel like I've disappointed him. Like I'm not good enough. And maybe I'm not.

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> He takes another spoon full and slowly feeds me. I eat and we don't say a word. I don't have anything to say. I sit there trying not to think. I don't want to think. Inside my head I'm going crazy. Its a mess and all I want to do is scream! I'm starting to rethink so much. When hes done feeding me I lay back down. He starts to move to leave.

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> "Niall" I panic. "Please, don't leave me." I hold my hand out. He sets the try and empty food bowl down and climbs in next to me. We sit together and I drift back to sleep.

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> Day 3 out of the hospital:

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> "Carson, love." Charlie is in the bed next to me. She has a phone pulled out.

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> "Jeremy is on the phone." She holds it out. I can't take that. I've probably only caused him more disappointment. I shake my head no and try to go back to sleep.

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> "Honey," I hear my mother saying. I open my eyes and see her standing there with my dad. "Honey, Your father and I we need to know if you want us here. We want to stay to support you. But we can't stay forever. We'd love to but we can't. We'll stay here if you really want." She tells me. I don't know what to say. I want them here but they can go.

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> "You don't have to stay." I say really low and horse. My mother nods but looks sad.

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> "You can always come home. Remember that." She leans down and kisses my head. Then I close my eyes.

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