The Psychology Project

Thirty: Secret Meet Up †

Something inside of me was telling me not to go and even as my fingers floated above the letters on my screen, I tried to punch in a no but my mind just disagreed. I had to meet him. Maybe it was something crucial and imperative.

Tiegan: Okay, I'm coming now.

I didn't even bother waiting for a reply back. But once I had scraped my key card from my desk to clutch it properly, my phone vibrated from the bed. I glanced over at the screen, gathering it just to see Jason reply.

Jason: Okay.

I raced to the door, closing it softly behind me so Johanna couldn't quiz me on my evening excursion. I began ambling down all the stairs to the ground floor before walking round the college building. I was slowly making my way across the girls' changing room to the boys' next door. I could see a silhouette of an elbow sticking out from behind the corner and instantaneously acknowledged that it was Jason.

"Jason," I whispered.

Jason peered out from behind the corner of the wall. His shoulders seemed tense because when he saw it was me, they relaxed down. He sighed out in relief quietly as I made my way into the alley, brushing my side against Justin's front. I turned around to face him until we shunted across the wall more so we were further in the alley.

"Has something happened?" I murmured.

Even in the evening I didn't want to talk normally. I felt like it wouldn't take much for someone to just be listening around the corner to our discussion. Or even the moon and stars that were still materialising from the black sky. It's like you could divulge all your secrets in the night and the only ones to judge would be the stars and the moon. The night is when the monsters come out, and the stars and moon can witness the darkness spreading through street, diffusing through people's skin and bones, their thoughts and hopes, their mind and heart.

Jason meekly shrugged, turning his head to the side. I waited a few more moments before asking the question again, my words lacing with urgency this time. I wasn't much on patience. I get angered easily and quizzical and despite the saying patience is a virtue, I don't acquire any.

"I might break up with Lea," he blurted out.

I involuntarily gasped. My lips parted, my jaw hanging ajar. Jason's eyes couldn't meet my own, but I knew if he could, he'd collapse. Maybe this was to do with me, maybe it wasn't. Either way, I had to know.

"But you've been together nearly four years," I breathed, "you can't throw all that away."

"For you I could," he said sternly, turning his head slowly to me as he uttered those words.

"No," I protested, shaking my head. "No, it doesn't work like that."

"I know you think of me as a carer for Lea more than her boyfriend, Tiegan," he interjected. His eyes were boring straight into mine. "When she realised what I wanted to do here in college, she judged me. What did you do when I told you? You didn't. You understand me. She doesn't. I have to watch over her and make sure she eats, especially with all these crazy rumours going around. You know that nearly every night when we call one another from our rooms, I have to convince her that I'm not going to leave her for you." He paused, breathing out a petty chuckle. "I can't take it anymore. I've endured it and tolerated it for four years but not any longer."

I endeavoured letting his words sink in. Nope, nope, wasn't working, I mused. This was all too hasty for my preferences. He couldn't be saying this right now. He can't be saying he'd give up someone as beautiful as Lea for someone like me. He's been with her for four years! my mind screamed at me, attempting to knock some logic into me. It clicked.

"Then when you set that bet," I began, "you did it because you were thinking of breaking up with Lea then, too and you postponed it because you hadn't broken up with her. I get it now." I slowly bowed my head, hanging it low. I crossed my arms over my chest protectively.

It felt awful to be second best to something you'd put first. That's what it feels like to me. I'm second best to another girl and only the optional alternative that no one ever picks because the first one is better and no one wants an alteration. I abhorred it.

"Tiegan..."

"No," I whispered, "I get it. You picked her over me."

"But haven't you been listening to what I'm saying now?"

I stayed silent.

"Now I'm picking you over her-"

"No you're not," I blurted out, snapping my head up to him. "You're still picking Lea over me because you're still indecisive whether to break up with her or not for good. You may be questioning it, Jason, but you haven't done anything about it."

I had him there.

To this, he had no response.

Jason sighed and dropped his head. Even dropping his head meant I could still witness his regretful expression. He closed his eyes for a moment in prior to opening them and diverting his gaze to me. He reached out and laced his fingers in my hair. He began detangling it, running his fingers slickly down until the ends of my hair hit my chest again.

"To me, you're something I've always dreamed of."

He began to lean down. His forehead was caressing my own in a way that had never occurred before. It was slow and intimate – slightly peculiar, too but I didn't question it. Nor did I pull away, either. But then he stopped the caressing and his lips were inches above my own. His right hand was under my chin, directing my face up to meet his.

"You can't kiss me while you're still dating Lea," I objected, turning my head and closing my eyes. Something told me not to say it and instead let him kiss me. Sure, that's what I wanted but I couldn't do it to someone like Lea.

Scott.

My eyes were wide open.

"Scott," I breathed.

"Are you dating him?" His voice was demanding and gruff, losing its gentle tone he previously had.

"Not technically," I replied coyly. "But I can't lead him on and do this with you, no."

"I'm sacrificing a relationship of four years for a girl I've only known two months. Doesn't that say something to you?" He tilted his head, a little sarcasm dripping from his words.

I nodded, barely able to utter another word. I gawped down at the floor, kicking a rouge stone gentle with the tip of my right boot. My arms were crossed over my chest still and I let them fall just as a gust of chilly air came our way. I shuddered, desiring to be inside right now in the room where it was warm.

"Just think about it, Tiegan. Think about what I'm sacrificing and then think about what you're doing," he instructed, shifting away from the wall and backing out slowly of the alley, his body still facing me so he was walking backwards, "because right now, I may still be contemplating my choices, but I'm not about to lose two people who mean the most to me."

And with that, he exited the alley leaving me confused and dumbfounded. Why did this always happen? I pondered to myself.

"God, Tiegan," I muttered to myself, kicking the stone harder this time so it ricocheted off the opposing wall. "Nice going."

I began to amble back to the room, my arms trying to keep my jacket round my body without having it zipped up. I sighed, thinking about all of Jason's words. They were in the process of being imprinted onto my skin for everyone to see. I felt like if I was going back into the main building, people would see my guilty expression and judge me because of Jason.

I never wanted any of this to happen.

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Author's Note:

Arghhhh, Jason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you guys feel about this chapter? Do you think he will break up with Lea for Tiegan? Or do you think he'll continue to be with her? Let me know in the comments! I would love to hear what you guys have to say.

Thank you :) x