•EGO• (edited)

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Yoongi started out his window, where not a single pedestrian nor vehicle could be seen, silence enveloping the dark atmosphere.

It was nothing abnormal, considering his sparsely populated, rich neighbourhood.

It used to calm him, but not right now. Not when his mind was crowded with the thoughts of his loss. He felt suffocated.

His gaze fell on the moon as he watched it try to shine past the clouds that stubbornly blocked its path. He scoffed, thinking about how even the moon has its struggles.

His thin lips took the form of a firm line as he eyed the light blue cup he was holding, still not having come to terms with the events that occurred a couple hours back.

'Did she really mean that?'

That’s the question that had been playing on his mind ever since those 5 words slipped past her lips.

"I'm breaking up with you."

He let out a lifeless chuckle.

“She's gone.'' 

No matter how many times he would repeat it, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Was he really so harsh on her that she decided to leave? Rude enough to make her break up with him? Was he really that heartless?

The scenario played over in his head.

He had been in a meeting with pd nim to discuss next album. His phone notified him of her message as he stepped out of the office.

“Meet me at your dorm asap”, it read.

Something was off. She never had come into his dorm before informing him, knowing he might be busy.

(Well, their entire relationship had been on and off these past few months, but he didn’t really know who to blame for that)

Informing Namjoon of his departure, he left for his dorm, finding Hana waiting for him in his living room along with Jungkook. (Jungkook’s fever had kept him from attending the meeting with the rest of them)

He observed her, noticing her puffy face and red-rimmed eyes. Evidently, she had been crying.

Then he looked towards Jungkook who was staring at his shoes. Before he could question anything, Hana asked him to follow her to his room.

Nodding, he followed her instructions.

"What happened?" He asked.

He was worried now.

It took her about two minutes to recollect herself. He could tell she was struggling to bring herself to speak. He saw how she had clenched her hand into a fist.

His heart was thumping, and he knew that hers was too.

To encourage her, he placed his hand on her shoulder, which counter productively made her let out a sob.

Panicking, he quickly cupped her cheeks, hoping to be of comfort.

"I can't handle this anymore Yoongi. I'm tired of trying. I've been trying from 8 months and I'm tired.", she sobbed out.

He saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. It hurt his heart too.

Based on his gut feeling, shakily he asked," Are you...leaving me...?"

He hoped his assumption was wrong, but her grim nod shattered that spark of faith.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she looked straight into his eyes, she spoke with determination, "I'm breaking up with you Min Yoongi."

With those words, she walked away.

The way she held his gaze made it clear that she had meant that.

What was the point of stopping someone who had already made up their mind..?

The members had probably heard about the occurrence by now, but he didn’t want anyone’s sympathy...he didn’t want to talk...he wanted to be alone.

He wondered what she might be doing right now? Perhaps she was firm about her decision, but it was apparent that she, too, was hurt.

He remembered those times when he would snap at her unreasonably, throw all his frustration at her.

It had been a difficult year, for his career and for his relationship. He only overcame these hurdles because of Hana’s and the members’ support.

But in the end, he failed to save his relationship.

He felt like a failure every time he would make Hana cry, but his pride never allowed him to apologise. Perhaps he developed a superiority complex at some point..

Hana never went through the same difficulties he did, but she always made an effort to understand them. She stood with him through thick and thin.

Maybe she, too, was going through hard ships but she never shared them with him. He believed that she wasn't comfortable telling him her problems, and that frustrated him beyond limit.

She was good, too good for him.

While he would ramble about his problems, she would keep hers to herself. He knew that.

He tried to ask her about them,he really did, but she would always change the topic. So, he started to deal with his problems on his own as well...a relationship works two ways right..?

Regardless... It was silly. Their break up was unreasonable.

He placed his mug aside, leaving the coffee untouched, and went to lay on his bed. His mind was mess, pure chaos.

He was conflicted, his ego swallowing up his guilt.

He tried to control it, but for the first time that day, the tears rolled down his cheeks.

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