Chapter 61

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Lisa's P. O. V.

"This ring has J on it" Reign told and tried to look at it intently. He's pulling it and I know in any moment, it will fall off on his arm so I decided to take my necklace off to show it to him.

His eyes are so big like mine, his brown orbs, nose, lips and everything on his face are kinda similar to me. I took my deepest breath before I put the necklace on his palm.

Just like what he said, yes there's a J engraved on the ring. It's because this is ring was a promise ring from Jennie. She gave it to me in our 3rd anniversary, it's kinda funny that I found it two years ago while I was looking for my book in my room. I made it as a pendant so I can carry it anywhere. My life for those three years that I wasted and not being with her was horrible. I felt incomplete but I was telling myself that I shouldn't feel that way and continue on the life I have.

"Why is it J?" He asked me again.

I made him sit in front of me so we can discuss some things. I swallowed a lump and fix his hair.

"J.. It's because the name of someone who gave it to me started with letter J. It's a promise ring and since I can't put it on my finger, I made it as a pendant so wherever I go, I can still feel that she's there because that's the only thing that left to me" I explained, I felt the pang on my chest.

Other than this pictures, this promise is the only thing that left to me. Although I still have some gifts from Jennie before, I decided to left in my room because I was staying with Somi and Liam in the unit and I don't want to cause any trouble to Somi before, like asking such questions regarding on it.

"Promise ring? Just like pinky promise?" He asked innocently and put the ring on his finger.

"Yeah. Just like pinky promise" I said.

"What's the meaning of J?" He finally asked.

I clear my throat and caress his cheeks by my thumb "J.. What's the name of your Mom?" I asked him back
I know it's not in my position to tell this to him but I just can't help it.

He gaze on me and furrowed his eyebrows "Ruby Jane.. Mommy's name is Ruby Jane" He said that made me laugh, I didn't remember that she changed her name.

I have a lot questions to Jennie and I have a lot of things to say. I know my words are not enough for forgiveness but I will try my best to get it.

"Your Mommy's name is Jennie. We used to call her Jennie and that's the meaning of J" I stated.

Reign cough a bit  "Really? Then why Mommy would give you this? We don't have money" He questioned.

I put him on my lap again and take the ring on my palm to show him clearly "You're too young to understand. Very young. But your Mommy and I were.. were lovers before. I love her so much and she did the same as well" I kiss his head as I am tearing up.

"So that's why you have a lot of pictures with her?" He asked with his eyes widened, I nod my head to say yes to him "Mommy said, Dada's name is Lisa. Mommy said that she made her happy"

My tears finally flow down on my cheeks when I heard him saying those words. I don't know how to respond. I bit my bottom lip and just hug him too tight, he didn't complain at all. I want to feel his body, the body that I rejected before.

"Are you crying?" He asked.

I put my chin on his head and kiss his forehead a lot of times. I don't care if he will see me like this. I convulsed into tears and the heaviness of my chest began to dropped.

I know Jennie is too mad at me but hearing how Reign mentioned my name made me think that Jennie is a good mom indeed. She never hide anything to Reign despite of the things that I did to her.

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