Saving Adam

Chap. 34

Adam's POV

I paused in front of my dorm room door, my hand hesitating over the door handle.

Shit.

I'd been pacing the hallway outside of my dorm for the last twenty minutes, trying to work up the courage to face Terrence.

I had a bad habit of using substances and now people to distract me from my problems. And I had to start facing them.

Even though I really, really just wanted to take a bottle of Jack Daniels and let everything fade away.

Open the door, Adam.

And then I was pacing the hallway again.

I knew that Terrence was in there. Now that Finals were over, most kids were getting kicked out of the dorm rooms for the winter break.

Unless you're a football player who still has practice and is in bowl season preparations.

So without the distraction of classes, Terrence was bound to be catching up on all of the time he missed out on playing the Sims.

Terrence could get lost in the Sims.

Our joint dorm room door opened, Laurence stepping out into the hallway. He raised an eyebrow at me in question.

"Just getting some fresh air," I said.

"Sure thing."

I waited for Laurence to leave before pausing in front of my dorm room door again.

Open it, Adam.

My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest as I stood there, staring at the door handle.

One. Two. Three.

I threw open the door.

As predicted, Terrence was sitting on his bed with his laptop.

"Hey," I said, as he glanced up at me.

"Hey."

My movements felt robotic as I forced myself to walk inside and shut the door behind me.

Is it too late to run?

I hadn't really thought this far ahead.

"Sarah said you left her dorm room hours ago," Terrence said.

I nodded. "I went and got coffee. And then paced the hallway for a bit."

"Have you talked to your dad?"

I shook my head.

"He's been blowing my phone up. I guess Michael called him."

Doesn't surprise me. "Well I used my dad's credit card. So he was bound to find out."

Terrence rolled his eyes. "Rich people."

And then we were both laughing.

I crossed the room and sat down on my futon, letting out a small sigh. "So I guess we need to talk?"

"We can."

"I'm just not sure what about."

I'd been running through this conversation in my mind for hours, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint what I'd been so upset about to start with.

I didn't care that Terrence was gay, I never had.

If my brother was gay, or bisexual, or whatever the hell he identified as, that didn't bother me either.

But something did. I just couldn't figure out what.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," Terrence said. "Mike... Michael wasn't in a place where he was ready to talk about it. And while I respect his wishes, it put me in a hard place between two brothers. Three brothers."