im sorry, 2.

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to kairi's benefit it was the beginning of winter break. he would get time away from everyone, away from mattia. he knew his friends would all be together and wanting him to hangout with them, but he couldn't face mattia. not yet.

a part of him was disappointed that his friends were hanging out with him already, but he needed to be respectful of their choice. he sat up in his bed, the sun beaming through the cracks of his curtains. he had two missed calls from alejandro and three texts. he usually never slept past eleven, but it was already one.

kai kai
sorry ale, i was sleeping.

he clicked send on the text and fell back onto his pillows. he didn't wanna get up, not for a long time. he just lost his best friend, the person he loved the most, and the only person that genuinely understood him.


what did i do? i just lost my best friend and for what? a girl that was clearly very disrespectful. i turned into the type of person i hated on every day. i told kairi i would never let a person like that hurt him and here i am, the one who hurt him.

"fuck!" i slammed my fist into the wall, instant regret as my knuckle hit a screw i didn't know was there. i started bleeding, but unfortunately that was the least of my worries. i continuously punched the wall a few more times until it broke in and i heard a familiar voice outside my door.

"mattia?" my little brother asked, he sounded scared. i opened my door slowly looking down at my brother who had tears forming in his eyes. "are you ok?" his brother asked.

"im fine," he felt bad scaring his brother, "just don't tell mom, or dad."

"your hands bleeding." his brother pointed out. mattia looked down at his hand that was dripping small drops of blood onto his carpet. "shit, im fine. just got back to your room." mattia ruffled the smaller boys hair with his clean hand and sent him off. he ignored the blood on the floor and grabbed an old shirt from his floor. he cleaned off the blood and put the shirt in his trash. he didn't even mind with the small hole in his wall, only texted alejandro. he needed someone to hangout with and take his mind off kairi.

alejandro called kairi asking him to hangout, but kairi wasn't in the mood. he wanted to slip into little space and never come out, but ale wasn't going to give up. "kairi im coming over." alejandro spoke over the phone. kairi couldn't let him do that, his room was a mess and so was he. "fine ale, let me shower and i will come over. expect me in an hour." kairi set down the phone without saying goodbye and went to the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

the warm water felt nice on his cold skin, but quickly the tears came. he felt himself start to slip. no, he couldn't. he just needed to finish showering and go hangout with his friend.


kairi arrived at alejandro's, thanked his uber and walked up to the front door. he knocked and was greeted quickly by ale's mom. "hey kai," she smiled, "ale, mattia and alvaro are upstairs."

mattia. alejandro really decided to invite him over and not tell kairi, great. it's to late to back down, he was standing right in front of ale's mom. "thank you." he walked inside and headed upstairs. alejandro's door was closed so he took a deep breath before walking inside.

"kairi!" alvaro gave a small smile towards kairi. kairi returned the favor, but his eye quickly met mattia's. their eye contact broke quickly and neither said a word. "hi kai." alejandro spoke. kairi gave another quick smile.

the room was silent and not the good kind. "i like your shirt kai." alvaro whispered.

"thank you." he looked down and realized it was mattia's. he didn't even notice when he was at home, his eyes instantly started to water. he bit the inside of his lip and felt himself slip. he grabbed alvaro who was sat next to him and hugged him. alvaro frowned and looked towards alejandro.

"kai?" ale spoke, "come here." alejandro was sitting on the floor and kairi quickly got down and sat next to him, the taller boy pulled him into hug. "m s- sorry." kairi spoke.

"it's ok babe, you did nothing wrong."


i watched as my now ex best friend cried. i wanted to hug him so bad, how could i be so stupid! i just want to hold him. little kairi was the most fragile kairi and he only cried in little space when things were really, really bad. i did this, this is my fault.

"i think im gonna go." i spoke.

"bye mattia." alvaro said. i got up and walked towards the door, opening it slowly and quietly. kairi didn't like loud sudden noises, especially in little space.

"bye kairi." i whispered and as quickly as possible and closed the door behind me. im sorry.

- A/N

ahaha can you tell i forgot mattias brothers name 💀

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