Chapter 11 (Part A)

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"Sayuri!", Ulquiorra was beside me in a matter of seconds. He looked so worried and then I saw those damned tears. I had caused those tears. My stupidity and ignorance and fascination with that hollow. If only I had known I would have been able to protect him.

I didn't speak. Instead, I clung to him. I held on like my life depended on it... Like his life depended on it. I wanted to wipe away that sadness in his heart. I wanted to make him smile, make him laugh. He used to laugh and it was beautiful, deep and soft, so delicate and strong. His laugh was something like a feather being pressed into cement. It was was odd how it combined a sound that was both light and heavy at the same time. The sound was rare but I'd heard it once, many times and now it was like it never existed at all.

"I'm so sorry, brother...", my voice was raw from screaming. "This", I pulled away and let my knuckles glide down his cheeks, "is my fault. If I could change the past we would be old together and I would hear your laugh and see you smile but now we are stuck, as alive as we are dead". I laughed softly. Coldly. "Trapped in the past by my mistake, suffering, but I don't care that I am suffering", his face didn't change but I could see the emotions swirling in his eyes. "I would take the sadness from your heart and these damned tears would never exist", I cursed the black streaks. These were my creations why should he be burdened to wear them.


"Where the hell is she?!", a loud arrogant voice bellowed. I knew that voice and the angry footsteps. Grimmjow tore into the room like he was on fire. "What the hell-", his eyes landed on Ulquiorra and his blue eyes burned with rage. "Why you son of a-", he didn't finish. His hand was around Ulquiorra's throat and his fist was drawn back.

I knew he couldn't hurt Ulquiorra but I still didn't want them fighting. But why had Ulquiorra complied so easily to being captured by Grimm? He could have easily gotten away... He was doing with him, the same thing I do to my... victims. That is something we must have learned, to be merciless but understand who we are versus who our opponents are.

"Grimmjow stop!", I yelled reaching for his arm and holding it back. I was careful not to use too much force, only enough so he wouldn't be able to move his arm.

Grimmjow didn't look at me and for that I was silently grateful for. I hadn't used my gigai and I didn't think he'd take my Espada form very well. He didn't know, but he'd find out soon enough. "Why are you defending him?", he spat venomously.

I spoke to him softly, like he was a wounded animal and I didn't want to upset him into a frenzy. "Because, he... He-Ulquiorra is my brother, Grimmjow. You cannot hurt him", I said the words as carefully as I could but he heard the double meaning.

Shocked he turned to me. "Broth-", his voice died when he saw me. I must have looked horrible to him. The bone petals at the corner of my left eye, the hole in my chest, visible because I was only wearing a loose tank top. "What the fuck did you do to yourself? Why-", hugs voice died in his throat.

I did my best to explain to him but only after he released Ulquiorra. "I was exiled before you were born", I conclude. I told him everything, excluding my rank. That would only cause a conflict and I wasn't ready for that.

Grimmjow slammed his fist down into the hard floor and cursed. "Damn him!", he shouted hate filling his voice. Suddenly he was in his feet with a murderous intent in his eyes. "I'll kill him! I'll kill him bef-", Grimmjow stopped himself but walked toward the door ready to take down the man known as it "creator".

"Grimmjow-", I shot up from my seat ready to stop him but Ulquiorra stopped me. Looking back I frowned, confused.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes calmly and when he opened them they were dark. The darkness scared me because I could not read his emotions. I was as closed off as the rest of the world. What was he hiding behind those eyes? Why couldn't I be trusted to know? I know my brother and I know when he is hiding something. But what is he hiding exactly?

"Let him go, Sayuri. Lord Aizen will crush him himself and we'll be able to go back to Hueco Mundo. All will be right in his death", was he serious?

I stared at my brother shocked. He was still working by Aizen's side? "Why?", the question was meaningless, but I wanted to know what was so damn special about the man who had taken wedding from us.

"Only those who serve Lord Aizen-"

"I don't serve, Aizen! What will happen to me? Will I die?", rage boiled up inside of me. It was getting too the point that I could not look at him any longer. Tearing my face away from him I asked him one finally question. A question he could either answer or run away from. I'd know where we stand after. "Will you let him kill me? Or will you be the one who streaks my soul this time?", I paused as the room because noisily silent. "You know he will ask you to do this", I finally looked at him again and in his eyes, once again, I could see the world. My heart stopped... My throat went dry and I couldn't feel my body. Something tore through me like a blade and I wanted to scream or cry or do something but I couldn't. I was frozen where I stood. "He already has".

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