Stall 2

Chapter 40.

"Finally it has happened to me."

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A/N: I'm baaaack.
This is a long update, get comfy.

Missed the shit out of you, by the way.

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July 18th.

Miracles don’t happen every day, in fact, I was hard pressed to think they happened often at all.

However, I would call the fact that Harry has agreed to go see Rob and talk to him a total fucking miracle.

It’s been two days since my appointment, I had gone back to work and Harry had gotten back to searching every possible place he could to find David. Which, for the past few months has become our normal and honestly, after what’s gone on the last couple weeks between harry and I - I welcomed it.

The conversation that lead to Harry agreeing to see Rob, was last night and to be honest I’m still wrapping my head around the fact he agreed to it because he made it very apparent he didn’t like Rob.

I’m sure Harry just needs to warm up to him, I just hope that happens with them becoming friendly and not Harry warming up to him by literally setting him on fire.

I had mentioned to Harry what Rob had said to me about my nightmares, because I had been thinking about it ever since.

The look on Harry’s face was priceless when I explained that the nightmares I had been having hadn’t been about him. Whilst yes, he was in them, Rob had said that they seemed to be about what I had gone through with Andy, as well as other people close to me.

I was having nightmares about people I trusted hurting me, because that’s what Andy had done and it was my brains way of coping with it until I actually addressed it, because I had been ignoring it instead of dealing with it.

We were laying in bed that night after Harry had finally gotten home, he was out late with Jimmy and Steve looking for different leads on David, or planning whatever their next move is.

“So… you aren’t having those dreams… because you think I’d hurt you like that? They aren’t because you’re scared of me?” Harry asked, looking as shocked I had felt when Rob had offered a different perspective on my nightmares.

There was also an immense relief that was flashing across his face and it made my heart ache.

 I know how deep his fear is that I would be scared of him, that I would feel the same way about him as he did about his own father. That I would think he’s a monster. I know my nightmares didn’t help how he felt about that -- but hopefully sharing what Rob spoke to me about will help some.

“No, it’s not the reason I’m having them,” I assured him, shuffling closer to him under the covers where we lay facing each other,” And I’ve thought about it, it makes sense. The feeling I had in the dream was the same as the night Andy hit me… in the sense that I felt so helpless, scared and betrayed by someone I trusted. I never thought Andy would ever do something like that to me -- I can’t even explain how horrifying it felt... that I had trusted someone like that. I spent two years with a stranger. It hurt that I was so horribly wrong about someone I thought was a good person.”

I’d never really spoken to Harry all that much about how I felt that night, because it upset him so much so I kept it to myself. I was always so worried about how hearing that voicemail made him feel that I forgot that I was the one that was beaten.