Love is greater than our cause

Chapter 60: The Truth

1995

Albus POV:

'It vas Barty Crouch junior all along?' Gellert summarised.

I had just recounted the events of the past school year, Harry's fourth, and, as the records show, it was just as dramatic as the others. Every year something terrible happens because trouble follows him, I have sympathy for the boy, I know the feeling of wanting a quiet, normal life. Whatever that might entail.

'Yes, we sent him back to Azkaban but Voldemort has made his return at last...the ministry won't believe a word of it and especially refuse anything I say to them, it always has been that way.....I fear-'

'You fear they may prevent us seeing one another?' I guessed, 'My love, they could not-'

'But that's just it,' I interrupted, 'They could, they hold too much power and take it for granted...not that I can say much,'

'You can!' Gellert argued, 'You say those things in guilt yet don't you see? You gave it up because it vas the right thing to do, you refuse power in fear of being like them vhich makes you different, you try to be good vhich counts for something,'

I gave him a small smile, 'I appreciate that greatly...you know I do, I'm just worried is all. I want you to know that if I never come here again it's because they stopped me, not by choice,'

He nodded, 'I understand,' The whole time, Gellert had been stroking Antonio who was curled up on his lap sleeping. This time visiting I had brought Antonio a bed to sleep in as well as some food, he doesn't actually need to eat but they can, 'Vhat are you planning to do now?'

I sighed, 'I'm having Harry closely watched, making sure he's safe from Voldemort as much as he possibly can be. But his connection to him...it's growing stronger and I don't know what to do about it.....what if Harry is some kind of portal into seeing what our plans are?'

'So...vhat? You plan to cast him out?' He asked.

I rethought about it but then came to the conclusion it was best, 'Of some sort...only from me and any information he could pass on. I love that boy as if he were my own son but I cannot risk everything, it's ultimately protecting him,'

Gellert appeared to disagree but decided not to state this, 'If you think it best then do as you must, ve must hope that another vizarding var doesn't become of this,'

'You're right,' I agreed, 'But I'm afraid that's how it's beginning to look...there's disappearances, Gellert, and Harry...he can see into his mind and he's only young, no way would he be able to master occlumency,'

'He could try,' Gellert suggested, 'If it's only getting vorse then you might have no other choice,'

'If I have no other choice then I will indeed do so,' I said, 'So that's how my life is going how about yours?'

Gellert laughed, gesturing to his room, 'Same old, same old...your visits and kind gifts make my life a lot brighter though, I am eternally grateful,'

I took his free hand, my thumb tracing over his knuckles, 'I've come to realise not to blame you, true you've done unforgivable things but it's not all your fault, I'm am just as to blame,'

Lifting our hands, he kissed mine gently, 'I'm glad you do not hold much resentment for me...but you can not take it upon yourself to have guilt for things you did years ago, things you didn't even mean to do, ve are not the same in blame, this cell surely shows that,'

'Maybe...' I said sadly, my head falling to his shoulder, 'Can I ask you something...it's something I've been thinking about for a while,'

'Of course,'

'It's about...the cause,' I spoke hesitantly, 'I want to know why you did it, all those things about wizard superiority. Why did you believe such a thing? I believed it because they attacked Ariana but you never told me why you thought in such a way...I planned to ask a few times but thought you'd be reluctant to answer so decided against it. So?...why did you do it?'

Gellert just stared at me, his eyes wide with surprise as he spoke, 'I had an opinion, I vanted to lead the justice in the right direction,'

'I know it's more than that,' I lifted my head, 'You can tell me,' He didn't meet my eyes so I pulled his face towards me, 'It's ok if you don't I just thought...wouldn't it be good to let go of the pain you feel?'

Our eyes finally met and I could see his were lost with things he clearly wished to keep deep down but knew at some point he would have to release them to truly feel at peace, 'I...I vanted to prove myself, to show I vas capable of so much more,' he admitted.

'Go on,' I encouraged, removing myself from him to properly pay attention.

He gingerly met my eyes again, 'I don't suppose you remember a time I ever mentioned my parents to you?'

'No, I do not,'

He gave a sad laugh, 'I used to have a good life, I vas smart in school, I had a big house and a vealthy upbringing. Everyone loved me...except from my parents,'

I frowned, 'But why?'

'I'll tell you,' he said, 'My eye..........my parents hated me because of my eye,'

I suddenly felt very sad towards my ex lover, the way he angrily spoke of this told me that he has never told anyone about this before, he's never had an outlet to vent to. He's been keeping this bottled up for years. His eye? I gazed into them, they were so beautiful so how they hate him for them?

'They told me it vas a curse,' he went on, 'That I vas a demon, that only devils had my eyes. Everyone else thought they were mysterious, everyone else thought I vas different, a perfect different that made me special. But to my parents, different meant going against everything they knew, everything they vanted. That vasn't me. I tried so hard over the years to earn their approval, to be perfect just as they vanted me to be. I followed their every command and tried as hard as I could but it vas no use...they could never love me. I vas nothing but a burden in their eyes, they could hardly bare to look at me I vas such a disgrace to them. My father vas a cruel man, feeding hatred into me at every encounter vith some remark about how unvorthy I vas, how I could never achieve anything truly great. One day...I learned they had set up an arranged marriage for me, I didn't understand at the time but as I look back on it now it's vas only to sell me off so they vould never have to see me again. I refused, of course, and it caused my father to be...particularly violent,' he grimaced, pausing for a moment to collect himself, 'From that moment on I knew he vould never see vhat power I truly had and vhat I could accomplish. I vas more determined than ever to do something people could only ever dream of doing, finding the Deathly Hallows and ruling the vorld. I vanted to prove all the people who said I couldn't do it wrong, I vanted them all to fear my name vhen they heard it as they begged me for forgiveness for being so cruel, for making me feel so vulnerable. They're the reason I can't...feel properly, I know I truly love you now but...I never understood the true meaning of family, I never understood Vhy you cared so dearly about your siblings and parents. It vas all so foreign to me, beyond my comprehension...how they treated me changed my life forever,' his eyes filled with tears, 'I can't blame them for everything I've done though...I'm just saying it might not have lead me to that point if something vere different,'

I enveloped him in an embrace that I hoped conveyed how sorry I was for him. His story explained so much about how he views the world, how he turned out to be. I hope if his parents aren't dead already they die a most painful one, 'I'm sorry Gellert...I'm sorry you were treated with such hatred,'

He kissed my cheek, 'Thank you, my dear...you vere correct about it making me feel lighter,'

I kissed his cheek back, cupping it after and rubbing my thumb across it, 'You know I think your eye is beautiful,'

He beamed, 'Thank you dearest.....I think all of you is beautiful,

I posted a little early because of the late uploads and also...IM GOING TO DRAGCON UK THIS WEEKEND!!! I get to see Ru Paul in the flesh along with all the uk queens plus some Americans like Monét, Trinity the Tuck, Ongina, Bob And Derick. I told my granddad and he said all the gays are going to hell. Lmao he don't know bought me, oh well,  I love me and I don't need his approval or the bible to do that ❤️