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It felt like nothing could stop the joy that riddled my body and my two week lust test would be more of a test for me than it would be for him. I just felt so good with him.

"That smile is the one. Who is he?" I rolled my eyes and but my lips before replying to another one of his texts. It wouldn't hurt to keep them waiting.

"She needs to get laid." I elbowed one of the ladies and she squealed before sipping her coffee some more. Her eyes keeping to me.

"Leah and Matthew. Both of you need to stop. I am just messaging someone." They shared a look and all I could do was ignore them.

"Just go to a club and get a fling. You will get him out of your system." They had no clue what was going on so I pretended not to hear them.

Two of my colleagues keep telling me to go clubbing and get a fling. Do you think that works? Xx

For what? Catching a disease, yes. Xx

Well yes but I can also spread disease. Xx

Oh, good to know. Xx

I have to get rid of my Chlamydia somehow. Xx

I think that as I nurse you should know, that is not how that works. Xx

How can you be so sure? Xx

I'm not. My whole life is a lie. Xx

Not all of it. I mean, most of it was but not all. I am called Aphrodite. Xx

Are you now? Xx

No. My real name is actually Shanye. I didn't think you would believe me. My dad was called Shayne and he loved Kanye. Xx

I knew it. Xx

I should probably go. I mean, my coworkers still want me to go on this date. Xx

Are you crazy? A date? This is a world of fakes. Give up on love. Xx

Oh I have but I have to sex it up a bit. Xx

I could sex you up a bit. Xx

You would have to come to me for that. Xx

I was imagining a different type of coming and trust me, my name will be one you will never forget. Xx

For what? The biggest clown? Everyone remembers Hitler's name remember. It isn't always good to be known. Xx

You know how to bring a boy down. Xx

Beeper. Can't talk. Xx

I placed my phone into my scrubs pocket and then it was a blur as I ran to the patient and carried out the chest compressions as the doctor instructed. Not that it made a difference. The blood covered me and the look on her face filled my mind. Her black eyes and pain running across her face until she was dead and I had to stop. It was never easy to lose a patient but it felt worse on days like that one that already felt empty, lonely.

I cleaned up and changed scrubs before pulling out my phone. An hour ago I answered the pager and suddenly I was washing their blood off of me as the doctor was telling her family that she had passed on. It was just like that at times. I ran my hands over my body again before walking out to face the hospital again. I only had an hour left on my shift so I kept to work and decided to message Shayne after. My phone dinged though and I had an email. It was sure to be about the patient that died so I ignored it and got on with life. Changing and cleaning things, even if it wasn't what I was supposed to do I needed to get into a pattern. I needed to think as well.

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