Saving my Own Soul

XI

I apologize for the long-awaited time, this is my final week of me working before I am able to have full downtime before I start back school. I missed you all. More updates to come soon!

Once the two of us were dressed, my brother had suggested we go to the diner called Thumbs Up that was near Ariah's place. Unfortunately, Ariah couldn't come with us. she had an emergency at the bakery and had already left out before we even woke up. My brother was nice enough to take off of work for a couple of days to spend some quality time with me, which I greatly appreciated.

While we were here, I had ordered myself some French toasts, a side of eggs and turkey sausage, along with some hash browns. All the food was made in larger portions here, so, it was more than enough to fill me up.

I lightly patted my stomach, feeling ultimately satisfied after eating such a delectable meal.

"Wow! That was great, we should come here more often. I had forgotten all about this place." I smiled back at my brother.

" Yeah, mama and pops used to bring the three of us here when we were younger. " he chuckled hesitantly. His lips tugged to pull off a decent smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned

"Nothing. I just remember it being the three of us until you became friends with Sumayyah and Mica."

he paused, then put his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry, Don't get me wrong I love them to death, they're like family to me, and also not trying to sound selfish either, but sometimes, I miss when it just the five of us."

I thought for a second. I couldn't be upset with my brother, he was right. Growing up I used to spend all my free time with Sumayyah and Mica, but that's only because my brother focused on school or girls, and of course, basketball. Sometimes, he barely paid attention to me, and my sister, well, she has always been in her own world, but still. It wasn't until I was nearing my senior year of college that we all developed a close bond with each other.

Sumayyah and Mica had become apart of our family's world in a matter of a few short years, especially when Sumayyah started living with us. I had never imagined or thought that my brother would feel some type of way about it.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

" I thought you would resent me, you went through so much in high school, I didn't want to take away the very two people that brought you happiness. " He sighed.

I gave my brother a gentle smile, reaching over to place my hand over his.

"I could never resent you. You've done nothing wrong, that's how you felt. Do I wish you would have told me sooner? Yes, but I could never upset with you. I'd rather you tell me how you feel than to keep those emotions bottled up." I treasured.

" Yeah, it's not really good to keep things bottled up, now is there?" He inquired, raising his left eyebrow a bit.

I know he was just messing with me a bit, but can't lie and say it didn't sting. Honestly, all this going on just has me for a whirlwind. There's this large part of me that wants to tell my family what's going on and be done with Deshawn, but there's this small piece that feels like I should trust him with this cheating situation. Out of all of the things that have happened, this one just doesn't settle right with me. It seems...off.

I gazed back up at my brother, as he anxiously waited for me to speak again.

"I will speak when the time is right Michael" I answered calmly, yet, sternly. I placed my hand over his hand once more, hoping it would ease him.

His eyes closed, inhaling in a deep, and long breath. His exhaled sigh felt more like a restraint from the anger he wanted to unload. I was surprised by his sudden composure, but I could still tell he wanted to let out some rage.