Elf On A Shelf

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"The fuck. Hell no. There's no way I'm wearing that shit Sam". I said tossing the pajamas back into the bag.

As our tradition goes, we all wear the silliest pajamas that can be found and cook a big breakfast for dinner. Brinner we like to call it. Over the year's I have relied on Sam to buy my pajamas and mostly she did an okay job of selecting what I'd wear but not this year. This year Sam really screwed me over and by the grin she was wearing she was enjoying every second of it. "Oh come on Dem. You'll have the best pajamas on here".

" Exactly because I'm not wearing these. I'll stick to my old one's ". I said sternly.

" Demarco Harper, you will march in that bathroom now and put these on or else". Sam said arching her brow.

I heard her warning loud and clear and I knew that if I wanted a happy wife I'd better stuff myself into the hideous pajamas that she chose. "Fuck". I growled snatching the bag up.

" You so owe me for this cupcake. As a matter of fact I want that special thing you do tonight and I want it while I'm still wearing this shit. And how come you get to wear a cutsey reindeer pajama set while I'll look like a fucking douche bag. Thanks babe". I huffed as I found my way to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later I emerged from the bathroom looking like the court jester. Sam immediately doubled over in laughter as I fumed. The crazy huzzy had gotten me elf pajamas. No, I don't mean just a printed tee with matching bottoms. Sam went all out. I looked like the God damn elf on the shelf. The pajamas came complete with jingle bells so every time I breathed I'd fucking ring like the liberty bell. Even my fucking slippers curled upwards at the toes and had bells. Still laughing, Sam approached me and placed a elf hat on my head. "I hate you so much right now cupcake".

" you look adorable baby". She chuckled.

"I look like an ass and Cole will never let me love this down". I grumbled.

As we descended the stairs I stayed back not wanting to be seen. Sam looked back at me with irritation and motioned for me to come on. Rolling my eye's, I begrudgingly stepped forward. Silence befell the room as everyone stared at me. Cole's high pitch laughter shattered the quiet room followed by his taunts. "Flower, look at you. You look like you fell right from the North Pole and jingled all the way."

" Shut your shit up numb nuts". I growled while I flashed Sam an evil look.

As I looked around the room I felt like the village idiot. Everyone else was dressed in normal pajamas and here I was looking like Santa's little helper. Mom and Pape wore basic red pajamas and Mizery and Aiden had on matching plaid pajamas. Miri and Cole sported plain grey pajamas that had Merry Christmas printed on the front of their shirt and here I was the butt of everyone's joke.

As I walked off toward the table for a drink my bell's begin to rattle and everyone tried to muffle their laughter. "You look darling". My mom smiled.

As I sat there amid their jokes I vowed to burn this ridiculous get up as soon as I got the first chance.

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