Action/Adventure Winners

58 4 0

Dun, dun, dun... The results for action/adventure are in! Here are the winners for the genre. All prizes will be given out when the awards are over.

Action/Adventure was judged by hcwilhelm.

Honorable Mention

Revival: Of Cethore - 80/100
Author - Spider-Hawk


Title (4/5)
Love the title. It sounds like it'll be a grand adventure and gets me pumped. I'm not sure why there are colons in your title. I looked at your other books and it doesn't seem to be part of a series. Suggest removing them and lowercase 'of'.

Cover (5/5)
I could see this book cover on a shelf at the library. I love the wispy background and the silhouette figure. Keeps it mysterious. I didn't notice the dragon at first until I looked at it again. It feels like I found an easter egg lol. The title is clear on both the website and the app. I suggest to bold the author's name as it's almost too thin.

Summary (6/10)
Good summary, but I have some suggestions. I'm confused on the 'it's almost gone'. Is the dragon almost extinct? Dying? Suggest rephrasing it. Also suggest changing the comma to a period after 'awaken it'.

Summaries are supposed to be in 3rd person, present tense. You do so in the 2nd paragraph, but not the first. Suggest changing period to comma after 'Cethore' and removing 'It was once simply a'. Instead of a comma after 'veins' and 'tribe', use an em dash for readability. You can then remove the last 'tribes' of that same sentence.

*Samari is [a] homeless...

Suggest making 'But now she' a new paragraph. Also might want to expand upon 'darkness at bay'. Maybe keep the darkness at bay as the Council of Sixteen hunts down the last dragon. Again, the last sentence is too vague. Why should she fight when she's got a good life? What is her purpose to this war? Or did the guild order her to fight?

Plot (17/20)
I felt like I just jumped into the second chapter with Chapter 1. Details about Samari are not present except that she's traveling on a train to a new town. We find out in another chapter she's trying to settle down somewhere. The only times we learn anything about her is through character interactions. Suggest adding some background details so we understand who Samari is before she's put in a life-death situation.

Your action is great; the only thing I would add is some inner dialogue to show her struggling and keep up the intensity. It came off almost step-by-step a few times without it.

By Chapter 5, she's searching for the Phoenix and getting closer to the Shadow Knight. We've learned so much about the world; it was almost too much at once. The amount of information for each tribe, name, and magic used was a bit overwhelming. Suggest focusing on a few tribes at a time and adding new ones as the story progresses.

Characterization (17/20)
I'll be honest with you. In the beginning, I couldn't connect with Samari. However, once she pulled out her dust and kick-ass defense moves, I wanted to read more. That hooked me. But it doesn't make sense with her personality.

Samari coward away when the train attendant questioned if she had a ticket or not. Yet later, she's willing to step into a fight and stop it. You also said she was used to dodging drunks and thieves, so you'd think she'd be more confident externally. I would revise either the background information or her reaction to the attendant. Maybe add her reaching for her fire dust to show she's not afraid to attack the ticket attendant.

The Sunflower AwardsWhere stories live. Discover now