hope for the morning (A Six Fanfic)

chapter 10

Three months.

It had been three months since Jane had let her move in and Katherine Howard couldn't imagine that she could be happier. After all, she saw her cousin at least once a week and had taken to babysitting (or in Anna's case, dog sitting) for extra money, not to mention that Jane was so nice and had let her actually enroll in dance courses.

Yet the young teen couldn't shake the small bit of darkness that seemed to loom at the back of her mind, Darkness fueled by some girls in her year that, for whatever reason, had taken a severe disliking to her.  

Where's Mummy? Doesn't she care that you're walking in the rain?

No one will ever love you! That's why everyone left!

I bet your Mum died just to get away from you!

Their words cut deeper than she dared to let them see, although Joan (who happened to be in her last year of school) had quickly shut down the worst of the more physical attacks when she had overheard something outside of the school one evening.

Only Joan knew how much the words hurt her.

Only Joan knew the truth about what had happened that caused Katherin to live with Jane. 

But—unlike so many others—Joan didn't judge. She always offered Kat a safe space, keeping secrets that Kat didn't dare tell any of the adults in fear that she would be blamed again. 

Joan knew about Mr. Maddox, who had been her private tutor for some time.

She knew about the stiff and unrelenting expectations of Agnes Howard, about how her own father had abandoned her and hadn't even offered to give her a call since.

Joan even knew about Francis Derham, who had been a friend of her grandmother's and who's actions Agnes ignored. 

She even told Joan about the four foster families she had before Jane.

Joan even took her to the cemetery where her mother was laid, a place that Kat hadn't set foot in since her mother was buried six years prior. 

That's where Katherine found herself on that particular day, kneeling by the polished headstone as she tried to ignore the rain that was soaking through her uniform.

"Hey Mummy, it's me again. I have to make it quick or I know I'll get an earful from Jane for being out so long in this weather but I was wondering, can you send me a sign?" 

Katherine paused and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm just so confused Mama. I don't want to replace you or forget you but...But I find myself hoping Jane adopts me. It's just...It's nice to finally have someone who cares so much, you know? It just feels like she actually could love me and...I'm afraid that if I….I'll either forget about you or get hurt again and I'm so sick of being alone Mama." 

She couldn't stop the tears that came then.

"I have Joan and Anne but…Everyone else has an actual family. What is so wrong with me that I can't? Did I do something wrong? Is that why you left? Was Daddy right?" 

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Jane knew something was wrong when Katherine stormed into the house soaking wet and headed straight toward the stairs, tracking mud behind her. 

"Kat? Is something wrong?" She asked, the carelessness being very out of character for the teen. However, instead of getting an answer, the girl just brushed passed her and slammed a door behind her once she got upstairs. 

Jane sighed, glancing down at Edward, who was currently trying to pull up using the couch 

"Well, I better get the vacuum before that dries." She muttered to the toddler as she picked him up and deposited him into his playpen before adding, mostly to herself "that girl is doing the dishes tonight though." 

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After she was finished—and she was sure that Kat had calmed down—she headed upstairs to talk to her, only to find her sitting on the bed, wrapped in a blanket with traces of tears on her face.

"Katherine?" 

The girl glanced up, offering what could only be called a hint of a smile.

"Sorry about the floor. Want me to go clean it up?" 

Jane just chuckled at that and moved to sit beside the teen. 

"I took care of it. Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong? You aren't usually slamming doors or ignoring people." She prompted, putting an arm around the girl who instantly snuggled closer.

"Some kids at school are assholes."

Jane lightly jostled the girl at that, trying to fix her with a stern look, although she could help but smirk at how much like Anne she sounded at that moment.

"Katherine." She began, trying to sound disapproving though the teen just closed her eyes, unphased.

"Sorry, but they are." 

Jane just rolled her eyes and gave the girl a light flick on the back of an ear.

"Cheeky." She muttered before adding "wanna talk about it?" 

Katherine just shook her head.

"Can we just stay like this for a little while?" 

Jane was about to respond when Edward began to cry from downstairs.

"Let's go get him settled then how about I make you some hot cocoa and we curl up under a blanket and watch a movie? Think that would work?" Jane half suggested, noticing how the teen's face fell when she moved to get up.

"I guess. Can I pick the movie?" 

Jane laughed softly then and nodded "just nothing rated eighteen, please. I don't care what Joan nor your friends let you watch. You know my rule about that." 

Katherine had the decency to look sheepish at that, recalling the events that lead to that rule being made in the first place.

"Yes Ma'am."