chapter nineteen ~ everything goes black

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I'm so scared. Shawn has his strong arms holding me tight as he sleeps and i can't get out. I want to leave. I need to leave. I look over to the clock on the wall and read 4:25am. Ive been lying here a while with no sleep and with a boy i don't want to be with who won't let me go. Tears have been rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably all night making the bed sheets surrounding me dampen. I've been lost in my own thoughts all night. Why me? Why am i the person who gets raped when they go on a night out? God why did i even come out tonight. I'm still terrified to tell brad. What if he thinks i'm lying? What if he thinks it's an excuse? Should i tell him? No i have to, i can't keep it to myself forever. But what if it ruins our relationship. I give up on my own thoughts and try to distract myself with something. I'm still unable to move in shawns arms so there's not really much i can do.

Suddenly shawn rolls over so his back is facing me. I'm free. I quickly but quietly scramble out of bed and slip on my underwear and dress from the night. Well i thought i was being quiet until shawn sits up and looks around the room. I quickly duck down and hide at the end of the bed, i was already standing at the end of the bed so hopefully he never saw me. He then mumbles something not loud enough for me to hear and lays back down to go back to sleep. As i'm crouched down i look around the room for my clutch. Where did i put it? Or should i say where did shawn chuck it. I spot it underneath a chair sitting in the corner of the room, his hotel room is quite big and luxurious making it more time consuming for me to get out. I sit at the end of the bed for another 10 minutes figuring out a plan to leave and also to wait till shawns definitely fast asleep so he won't hear me. I finally pick up the courage and slowly crawl over to the seat and pick up my clutch bag. I grip onto it tight and make a run for the door. Okay that definitely wasn't quiet. I swing the door open and sprint away. Shawn definitely heard me. I'm fucked. As soon as i made my way to the elevator i repeatedly press the button and thankfully since it was still early in the morning no one was using it. As the doors open i hear a familiar canadian accent not far behind me
'Hey, wait up!' shawn shouts as he runs towards me only in boxers and a hoodie. I slam my finger to the 0 button then i repeatedly press the button to close the door and thankfully it closes before he reached me. I take this time to catch my breath and look at my phone to see lots of missed calls from everyone i was out with last night and brad. I quickly send a message to our friend group chat to let them know i'm alive
Girls <3
Hey um i'm alive i'll explain everything later i'm in a rush right now okay bye love youse
As soon as i press send my phone goes crazy with notifications which i leave as the elevator door opens. I run out of the hotel to be faced with shawn who's looking around the streets, obviously for me.
'It's you again! Wait I need to explain' he yells.
He must've ran down the stairs, damn he must be a fast runner. Besides that i quickly turn around not wanting to face him anymore and run away down the streets not knowing where to go or where i'm going. I guess i could go to Tris'. Or i could catch a taxi home. I'm too busy thinking of what to do when i trip and everything goes black.

Shawns POV
What have i done. I remember everything that happened last night and i'm definitely not proud of any aspects of it. Why did i do that? That's not the type of person i am. Why was i acting that way? Alcohol never makes me act like that. I've got a girlfriend. How will i tell Camila? What will i tell Camila? My careers going to be ruined now. I stand watching her run away with glossy eyes full of regret. I've ruined her. I could see it in her eyes. She's hurt. And it's all my fault. I'll never live this down and i don't think she will either. I'm pretty sure my drink got spiked, that's my only hypothesis. As she runs away into the distance she suddenly collapses and i rush to catch her but it's too late. She's fallen and hit her head. Badly. I turn her round and shake her to look for any life in her. She's breathing and her hearts beating but she's not responding. I scrounge my pocket for my phone and i don't have it with me. I look through her clutch and find her phone which i use to call 999. Soon an ambulance arrives and they lift Taylor into a bed and ask me to explain everything that happened. I'm terrified for her. This is all my fault.

Taylor's POV
I fall out of conscience but am still unable to open my eyes. I can't see where i am but i can hear the sirens of an ambulance which hurts my ears so i slowly move my hands to cover my ears.
'hey can you hear me' i hear a women's voice coming from beside me.
'y-yeah' i mumble unable to get my words out.
'can you open your eyes for me?' she asks and i try to open my eyes but it feels like their glued shut
'n-no sorry' i mumble
'okay that's fine, you're in an ambulance right now on the way to the hospital, you've fallen and hurt your head but you should be okay' she explains and i just about hear her until i fall unconscious again.

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