L Lawliet x Reader Oneshots 3 // Series 2 • Death Note [COMPLETED]

Lost part 1

A/n: it's been a while since I've done angst and you guys seem to like it so here ya go.

Hc: you love L but he's too distant to accept it.

Some days you just have to wallow in your own self pity and reflect on life in order to feel better. Sometimes hitting rock bottom, then digging further down is the only way to truly get over something. So when you stared fo spiral down into a state of sadness you decided it was best to do just that. Sitting on the roof of taskforce so long the sun had gone down ages ago, you leaned on the railing with your legs sticking though the bars and hanging off the side. You watched the clouds go by, watched the cars down below go by.

You seemed to be cursed with always falling for the wrong people. It was always the ones that either treated you badly or never paid any attention to you. And you'd gone and done it again, this time for the world renowned investigator you worked with. He was distant, he didn't seem to understand emotion, you wondered if he even knew what love was. You wondered if this crush was even worth it.

He just couldn't see that people cared for him. He was such a robot sometimes you wondered if he really was one. But the moments he broke into a human for a few seconds was what made you fall. Every so often he's have a moment of genuine expression, it was rare but you knew there was a person under that shell. Sure, he was clearly a very damaged person, but that didn't matter. Everyone is deserving of love, and with the right help he could heal.

But he never acknowledged you. Outside normal work-style interactions. A Goodnight and good morning, an offer for cake, that was it.

Were you really that unimportant to him?

You felt so... lost.

Your train of thought was broken by the sound of a door closing and someone sitting next to you. That person being suspect Misa Amane, in her sheer black pyjamas and dressing gown.

"You've been out here for 3 hours (y/n)..." she said.

You didn't move from your position and continued to stare at the cars below. Simply humming in response.

"What's wrong?"

You knew telling these things to a suspect was a risk, but at this point you needed to vent. You were past the point of caring.

"Am I really that boring? That unimportant? I'm practically invisible to him... can he not see that I care?" You sighed.

Misa immediately knew this was something to do with a boy. And having has many boy problems herself, she quickly empathised.

"I worry about him... I love him you know? But he treats me like... a worker. I consider him a friend but he doesn't seem to consider me one, I know he has a lot going on... I know he's probably been though a lot. But just a tiny bit of acknowledgement would be nice. I put in all this effort to try and engage with him and he just shrugs it off like I won't be affected by it. I can't tell what he wants. I've flirted, I've dropped hints, I've tried to be direct but he just... doesn't care" you ranted.

"Been there, it hurts. You put in all this effort to try and get through to them but they just leave you hanging" Misa replied.

"What will it take? Do I have to do some drastic? Walk past him in a skimpy bikini, throw myself in front of a bullet, write a song? I don't get it..."

From what you'd been saying, and the way you acted around him, Misa knew you meant L. It was sad to watch you try so hard with him and have him be so oblivious. You chatted for a while longer but it started to get cold and you went inside to go take a shower, thanking Misa for her time. Even if she was kira, she had her truly pure moments. If Kira's power never got to her she would be an amazing person with so much potential.

Instead of going to bed, Misa had one more place to go first. Walking through the dark halls she approached the room illumined with computer screens. She was angry for you, but knew this had to be done in a calm manner. She approached the overtired detective and grabbed the back of his office chair, spinning it to face her.

"Hey what th-"

"Listen frog man. I know we don't get along that well but this is important. Listen to me for once in your life ok?" She said.

L gave her a confused look.

"Have you ever been to therapy?"

"No..?"

"It shows... I understand you have to protect your identity, and how important your job is. But you can't keep ignoring your inner demons like this. It doesn't just affect you but those around you. I can tell something happened to you when you were young, because I was like you after my parents died. Cold, unapproachable, shut in. I don't expect you to tell anyone but... god you need to work on all this L! Your inability to read and revive emotion is not only sad to watch but really affecting yourself and those around you. Healing isn't easy, I know, but it's something you have to do. You're seriously hurting her L. She's spiralling further and further into sadness because no matter how hard she tries to get through to you, you don't respond. You're damaged, I know. But that's not an excuse to damage others. Just open your eyes, get some help. Or at the very least explain it to her. You don't have to love her back, but you need to tell her. It will hurt her but she'll have closure and it'll be easier to get over. You're so blind for someone so smart. Just... think about it"

With that, she turned and left. Left him confused and kind of shocked. He didn't have a chance to ask any questions. And he was unaware that Misa could read him so well, how on earth could she tell that he didn't have the best life as a child? Maybe it was something she could see more than others because she went though something similar?

But he was left felling... guilty. It was never his intention to hurt, but it seems he'd been hurting someone. Who? Well Misa said 'she' and it couldn't be her. Because she was so dedicated to Light it was crazy. So it had to have been you. He didn't realise what was going on.

Misa was right, for someone so smart he really was so blind. He could blame that all on lack of love, his hidden daddy and mummy issues were definitely the root cause. He never had love, so he didn't realise it when someone expressed it to him.

He knew he had to comfort you, but he didn't know how. He gazed at the monitors, seeing you'd fallen asleep among your stuffed animals and blankets. So he couldn't exactly talk to you right now. But that was ok, it gave him time to figure this all out.

Before he could approach you he had some things to figure out first. What were his feelings for you? Was he really a bad person? Would what he had to say hurt you?

It was going to be a long night.