CHAPTER 18 Bullshit Doctor

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copyright 2017 Chris Smith  All rights reserved.

"This isn't what I had pictured in my mind for my family, for my Mom after everything we'd been through in the last hell of three years."


Dad and I stopped by to see Mom in the morning. The facilities Doctor, a woman in her forties or fifties, was about to exam Mom. It was probably her BMW we walked by in the parking lot. She wore a flowery skirt and a short sleeve blouse with heels. It was the air about her that bothered me. Obviously smart. But I could smell the arrogance on her.

The Doctor walked in Mom's room and pulled out her stethoscope and listened to Mom's breathing and then her heart.

"We wondered how her healing was going?" Dad said.

The Doctor looked at us like she had no idea what we were talking about.

"Well, she sounds like she's doing good," the Doctor said.

"What about her scar?"

"What scar?" asked the Doctor.

"From her surgery? She had surgery about five or six days ago," Dad said.

The Doctor had Mom pull up her shirt so she could exam Mom's abdomen. Meanwhile Dad told the story behind the surgery. I stood by, rolling my eyes with disgust. I had to. The Medical Community made me twitchy with eye rolls.

"Shouldn't she already know about the scar?" I thought.

"It looks like it's healing well," the Doctor said.

The Doctor spent all of maybe ten to fifteen minutes "examining" Mom. What bothered me was the fast food style of doctoring that she performed. She probably had multiple facilities she was registered at. I suspected she'd swoop in, do her "exams", and be out the door to the next one, to keep those checks rolling in to her bank account.

The reality was, the Doctor wasn't at the care facility all the time. I'd never seen this Doctor or any other Doctor at the care facility when we visited Mom twice daily. All I saw were the nurses. I called bullshit on the whole fucking sham. I don't see how you can accept new patients, and not do an exam right when they enter. Granted I am no Doctor.

But don't you think you'd need to know or establish a baseline of where the patient is in their care?

So as to help support them in their continued care and recovery?

Uhh.. Oh, yeah, let's not forget what their needs are to heal. It seemed like pretty basic stuff to me.

As far as I was concerned it was the nursing staff who ran the place. The nurses were the ones that had to deal with the patients every day. They were the ones on the front line of care, dealing with the hallways full of problem patients and people that repeatedly rang for help. They were the ones trying to keep up with everything that was going on with all the patients.

Dad and I walked out to the parking lot to the car. It was time to head to the office.

"She's been here for four days and this is the first time a Doctor has seen her? Plus the Doctor exams her without having even read her charts? That makes no sense to me. How can you examine someone and not find out what's going on with them first? Like, I dunno, read her fucking chart?!"

"I know. That woman was a joke," Dad said.

I hated it every time we left Mom at the care facility. It was like leaving a part of our hearts there and she hated being there. You could see it in her eyes. I hated that they pumped her full of drugs. Dad had talked to the nursing staff and told them he didn't want her medicated.

But it was hard for them not to medicate her when she was causing problems. It seemed like the modus operandi. If you have a problem patient, don't try and figure out what's wrong with them and help them self soothe, medicate them. After all, what good is it to have all those medications from the fat-cat pharmaceutical companies if you're not pumping them into people all of them time.

Got an ache?

We have a medication for you!

Have a mood disorder?

We have a medication for you!

Irritating those around you?

We have a medication for you!

Can figure out what's wrong with them?

We have a medication you can give them!

By all means, don't find out what the underlining issue is. Don't find out what the root cause is and resolve that. Write them a prescription so at least they'll be medicated with problems. Of course the medications can create more problems, imbalancing the body, creating side effects.

Have side effects from the original medications we gave you?

We have a medication for you!

I understood it from their perspective. The nursing staff didn't have time, based on the number of patients they had, and medications that had to be given out, bandages that had to be cleaned and changed, beds that had to be cleaned, people taken to the toilet, to spend one on one with each patient and figure out what was going on with each and every one of them.

But there was no excuse for the facility, our "health care" system, and our society in general that our mentality has become "drug 'em" all.



Days in Care Facility: 5


So, Mom is being combative and uncooperative in the care facility. With her current brain behavior/moods/issues they're not set up to deal with her. One of the Physical Therapist's took Mom's mood "personally". Well, getting a mood WITH Mom's mood, only makes Mom's mood stronger (she feeds off the negative energy). And that certainly doesn't help anyone, especially Mom.

The facility is set up, like a rotating door, It's not a place to "manage" anyone long term. It's not a very "calming" or "healing" place for Mom, based on what she needs right now. I don't find it very calming, and I don't have any issues (not that I'll admit too..Lol).

She needs a certain type of energy, and to be around people (whether care giver, family, physical therapist) who bring the right type of energy and can easily deal with Mom's moods.

So, now we're looking into setting her up at home. We're working on getting her set up with the state funded medical care, and there are also some county services available.

The nurses all say, Dad is like the example for how husband's should be when their wife is sick.

They're amazed how well he does with her. He does incredibly!

This feels almost like more stress then when she was in the hospital. At least home, we don't have to worry about her escaping, we can administer the nutritional supplements she tests for, we don't have to "sedate" her, we can choose who is around her (re assistance and support) and monitor her.

This is crazy. Seriously.

Thank you for your support, love, positive vibes, encouragement, cards, emails, cupcakes (Lol), etc.

Blessings to you and yours,

c :)

p.s. photo taken a couple days ago when my brother was here visiting.

p.s.s. Mom's rubik's cube and deck of cards are MIA. Jeepers!

Tip: When dealing with stressed out loved ones, try not to get stressed out yourself...doesn't help anyone. Putting a hand on the forehead and deep breathing is helpful.

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