chapter thirteen

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"I can't fucking do this!"

Elmo ditches the note book at the wall.

"Me neither" I say, gently pushing mine away.

We were struggling to write what we were gonna say at my mothers funeral.

My mom was worth so much more than words on paper.

"Let's just speak from our hearts. We can't write about her because words can't describe how amazing she was"

"I know. You're right. Let's just make something up on the spot because speaking from our heart is better than reading off a speech anyway"

It's been a week since my birthday.

I didn't want to be on my phone all week because of not wanting to see everyone's messages, mainly from the girls.

Elmo absolutely hates himself right now.

He regrets every single thing he's ever done to my mom, although they weren't anything bad.

My dad is, you guessed it, at work. My dad is already bad without my mom so if he didn't do what he and her loved most, he would go insane.

I'm okay.

I mean, of course I'm not.

But I'm okay.

Like, I'm really not emotionally but I know what I'm doing and how I'm supposed to feel.

I'm not talking with anyone except Jaden and Chase, who skip first period everyday to come see Elmo and I.

Chase is so sweet and honestly, him having a girlfriend makes him even sweeter. Jaden has always been a sweetheart to me though, like from day 1!

I'm glad it hasn't been awkward at all, especially with how fucking crazy I was on Saturday. I regret losing my virginity, I honestly do. It most definitely wasn't at the right time but at least it was with Jaden who I know I'd forever love, even if we broke up.

I was so stupid for thinking that it could make me feel better but nothing ever could. My mother's gone.

I hear the front door unlock as Elmo and I stand up and walk towards it.

Elmo goes over and greets Chase first.

"Hi Jaden"

"Hi Gorgeous"

I walk over and smile as Jaden pulls me into a tight, warm hug.

"I got you coffee and a bagel"

"You don't have to bring me breakfast every morning"

"You know you wouldn't eat if I didn't"

"I know. Sorry"

"You don't have to apologise for anything!"

He goes and greets Elmo and hands his his coffee and bagel as I walk over to Chase and hug him.

"Feeling any better today?" He asks.

"A tiny bit. I feel like the more I accept that she's gone, the more I feel better. It's still really hard though"

"Of course it would be! It's only been a week"

I nod. Not even a week! It's Friday now.

We all go into the living room and sit down. It looked so empty and sad that I wanted to cry. I missed everyone coming here after school but I don't feel like talking to any of them, mainly the girls.

HOT GIRL SUMMER ✰ jaden hosslerWhere stories live. Discover now