Big Girl Chronicals

Justice

My body is the reflection of the way I feel about myself. I hate that I let myself get to this point. I want better for myself but it's just so hard.

I'm Justice Allen. I recently moved to New York a few months ago. It's not peaches and cream here at all, but living with my nana is so much better than living on my own with my little sister. My household consists of my nana, my 2 cousins & my little sister. Imagine living in a household with 5 girls, it's literally arguments everyday & no structure at all. But I wouldn't trade living here for anything.

  I like to believe that tomorrow will be a good day for my sister and I because we start a new school, which means no more being bullied. Hopefully not.

First day of school.

I hop into the shower and throw on some Black Fashion Nova leggings that my nana found at the goodwill, a Red polo shirt & black Nike shoes. My grandma found all of my back to school clothes at the goodwill. Since I'm the biggest in the house, I'm the only one who got new stuff this year. Everybody else is wearing "hand-me downs". I take my head scarf off & comb through my fresh silk press, then I head down stairs for breakfast. My mama made us waffles, bacon, eggs scrambled with cheese & salmon. I hurry and eat and then me and my sister heads outside.

We both stand outside and wait on the bus for 10 minutes, I notice that my cousins aren't outside waiting too so I send my little sister in the house to see if they know that we're supposed to be getting picked up soon. Jade comes back outside and says "They not in there" I send my cousin a text and she says they on they way to school on the bus. Now why didn't they tell me that the bus was outside? Instead of getting mad, I decided to choose happiness today & walk my little sister and I to school. It's a long walk but what else can I do? Nothing.

I get Jade into her school on time and I head to
My school & go to the office to get my schedule.

They gave me a confusing ass schedule & I don't know where anything is!

"Is there anybody that can help me find my class or something?" I ask the receptionist. She calls one of the student aides to take me, he's cute, kinda short & has dreads.

First period: Honors Geometry Room 213

Rushing to beat the bell I slip and fall on my ass the middle of the hall way. "Man what else can go wrong?" I say to myself as I shake it off and rush to class. That was super embarrassing. The student aide helps me up with a smirk on his face, I know that he wanted to laugh.

He takes me to my class and I walk in.

"Hello class, I'm Ms. Brown & I'll be your geom-"

"Hi, I'm sorry I'm late" I try to explain myself while wiping the sweat from my forehead.

All eyes were on me, I have very bad social anxiety & I hate being the center of attention. Instead of standing there looking even more stupid, I take the empty seat in the front of the classroom. Which was the worst decision because the desk is too small & my body won't fit unless I sit sideways.  All of the chairs in the classroom were taken, which leaves me no choice but to stay here and look even more stupid!

"Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted! I'm your geometry teacher, this is a year-round class, which means that you'll have this class until the end of the school year. We all will be together for a good amount of time so, I think it would be best if we'd introduce ourselves.. late girl stand up and say your name & 3 interesting facts about yourself!"

"Who me?" I say pointing at myself stupidly.

"Yeah, get up! "The teacher said rudely. I can already tell that she doesn't like me & that she'll be a tough teacher to deal with.

I stand up and say "I'm Justice Allen, I'm from Milwaukee. I've only been in Brooklyn for 2 months and I think it's a straight state" I say as I rush to get back to my seat. I'm sweating profusely.

"What? Excuse me, Miss. Justice, Brooklyn isn't a state, it's a city and that's not a fact it's an opinion! Come back up here and state a fact!" The entire class began laughing at me but I didn't care I laughed with them.

"I'm sorry, um I have a dog" I lied. I don't have a dog.

After class, I walk up to the teacher & apologize to her, I don't want things to be awkward all year, I also explained to her that the desk was too small for me, and she told me that she will change seats.

My next class was hard to find, of course, I was late there too. My teacher is about 6'2, Caucasian, blue-eyed, dirty brown hair, he was plain sexy. As I was admiring his beauty I felt someone tapping me and poking me in my arm. I was deep into my daydream but somehow I managed to jump out of it.

"Yea, um yes?" I say. I turn to see a handsome ass boy! He was a milk chocolate complexion with light brown eyes, and waves, he looks like he was about 6'3. The cocky type of guy, not my type but he's very sexy!

He says "You have to get up this is my seat" I look at him confused cause is he trying to bully me out of my seat and it's literally the first day of school. "How and it's the first day?" I ask.

"Bro, we changing seats" he pointed at the teacher.

"Oh I'm sorry," I say embarrassed. My anxiety is through the roof today, I don't feel like myself.

I got up and moved to the seat that the teacher told me to sit at.

"Take out a pencil and some paper & write about something you did this summer. You must use 2 pieces of paper, the front and back side must be used in order to get full credit. I know it's a lot to do for the first day of school but this is High School English & I have to see what you guys are capable of. You have 2 days to finish this" The teacher gives us the first half of the class to work on the paper and the last half for free time. During my free time, I put my headphones in and listened to music. I don't really care to socialize with anybody here.

After that class I went to 1 other class, then I went to lunch. For lunch today we're having chicken Pattie's and tater tots. My mama put money in my lunch account so I got 2 cookies a bag of chips and a juice.

I look around the lunch room and I see my cousins. I walk over to them and sit down. I ask the how their day was so far and they ignored me. I started to feel uncomfortable so I just put my headphones in. After lunch I went to 3 other classes & homeroom, then it was time to go home for the day.

I went to Jade's school to pick her up & I saw her crying. I walked up to her and asked her what's wrong.

"I miss mommy!" She cried. This is our first time going to school without our mama. I think that's where all my anxiety is coming from. I think if my mama was here I'd be a lot better mentally.

"I know jadey Pooh, I miss her too. We gotta keep going, so when she comes back she'll be super proud of us?" I say to her

•
•
•

What happened to Justice and Jade's mom?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.