Solitary ♢ Na Jaemin

♢38

Sweetheart,

By the time you're reading this, you would have undergone your surgery.
Are you feeling better now?

You're probably confused as to why I am not by your side and I really wish I was- I really do my love.

I can't tell you how much I wanted to be selfish and keep you to myself but I have to leave.

I have to leave Yunhee-ah, but it's not my choice.

If it was my choice I'd fucking marry you without any hesitation. You're my whole world Yunhee. Please don't hate your Father or the other boys, hate me instead.
I'm so sorry Yunhee.

I wish I could give you everything you need, I wish I could love you more than you deserve, I wish I could spend as much money as I can on you to spoil my girlfriend- but I can't.
I know I lack in many ways, but you're so perfect sweetheart.

Please don't be upset, even writing this is hell for me, watching your chest rise but I can't see your beautiful eyes.
It kills me.
I haven't left your side and I really don't want to- I want to be with you forever.

But I have to leave. You're a fighter, you're so strong and so beautiful, you have so so much potential and I know you'll blossom into such a beautiful and successful woman. The purest soul and heart of gold, you're my saviour.

I want to thank you, thank you for loving me and pursuing being my friend even when I was the fucking idiot I was- I still am.
But I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

I wholeheartedly cherish all the moments we've spent together and I'll continue to cherish them. You have made me feel one thing I didn't think I'd ever feel again- you made me feel loved.

You made me feel safe and special. You are the most beautiful, kind-hearted and down to earth girl I've ever laid my eyes on. I know you have your insecurities but I want to remind you that none of them define you.

The 'flaws' you see in yourself, I don't see Yunhee. You're perfect to me and wish you'd love yourself and see yourself the way I do.

I know I don't say it enough, but I love you so much. I love you so much you don't even understand the capacity of love and adoration my heart holds for you.

I've lived life in solitary before you came along- and i want to thank you for changing my life.

Even if I'm uncertain of most things in life, I've never been more certain of anything when it comes to you.

I will return to you one day Yunhee, I promise.

- Jaemin.