chapter eighteen ~ just leave me alone

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            !TRIGGER WARNING!

Taylor's POV
Now that ruels been kicked out i'm terrified. What will Shawn do to me? I don't know him or his intentions but he's creeping me out a lot.
'come on let's take this back to my hotel' shawn says in a seductive voice with lust overtaking his eyes
'shawn you know i've got a boyfriend, i don't want to' i tell him in an annoyed tone.
'i don't care' he says blankly
'please just leave me alone' i beg.
the past half hour he's been acting strange. when i met him an hour ago he was nice and respectful of mine and brads relationship. but ever since ruel left he's been trying to make a few moves on me like; trying to kiss me, placing his hands on my waist, pulling me against his crotch, whispering dirty things in my ear, etc. i didn't like this side of shawn. i don't know if it's the alcohol intake or the shawn i met earlier was an act. he's beginning to scare me now. he's a lot taller and stronger than me, so trying to get out of his grip is near enough impossible for me. his eyes are bloodshot and hardly opening, he's struggling to stand up straight and he's been acting weird. before i know it his hand is wrapped around my wrist and tugging me along with him, making me bump into people and them scowling at me. ive been trying to look for my friends as shawn drags me out the pub but i can't find them. many thoughts are running through my mind right now. what's he doing? where's he taking me? why is he taking me with him? what if he does something to me? when we're outside the building he then opens a door of a taxi and he gets in and i refuse to. i finally get out of the grip of his hand and try to run away when he gets out the taxi and chases after me. he catches up with me and picks me up bridle style, not in a romantic way in the slightest, and shoved me into the back of the taxi. i. am. terrified.
'where are we going tonight' the taxi driver asks with an uneasy smile and shawn replies with the name of the hotel he's staying at.
's-shawn i told you i didn't want to come back with y-you, can't you just take me h-home?' i ask worriedly
'no, you listen to me and do what i tell you to do, if you do anything i don't want you doing you'll be getting punished' he says in a scary overpowering voice. i'm genuinely scared for my life. his hotel was about a 10 minute drive away but it felt like a 10 hour drive with shawn whispering things in my ear and touching me in places i don't want him to. he pays the driver and gets out of the taxi whereas i sit in the taxi and refuse to get out.
'Taylor get out the fucking taxi' shawn demands to which i don't reply to. i sit staring in front of me with teary eyes and shaky hands. he walks to the other side of the taxi and opens my door and physically pulls me out. he tugs me along into the hotel and over to the lift where he presses the button and grips onto my hand harder so i can't run away. what's he going to do to me? the door opens and slowly step in after him with my legs shaking. his finger touches number 3 and the doors close. this is it. tears begin welling up in my eyes because of nerves. i stand next to him staring into nothing in particular and shaking.
'there's no need to be nervous princess' shawn whispers in my ear which i don't reply to. the doors finally open and he pulls me along with him to his hotel room. he slips his hand into his pocket and takes out the card key to scan over the lock and open the door. he takes the handle in his left hand and slowly opens the door. he grabs my clutch bag out of my hand and throws it across the room then pushes me inside and harshly pushes the door shut with my back. he takes both my hands in his right hand and harshly pushes them above my head. his left hand holds my waist. his lips make their way to my neck, sucking and biting hard. tears were now streaming down my cheeks. shawn would definitly be able to taste them as they run down my neck. i can't get out. i can't get my phone to call anyone. i'm in a very vulnerable position. if i can't get out i'm going to get raped. i don't want to live right now. i wish i'd never came out tonight otherwise this wouldn't have happened. i wish ruel or brad or someone could be here to help me right now. this will scar me for the rest of my life. shawns hands make their way down to the bottom of my dress and i swat his hands away. he takes my hands and holds them above my head again and pulls my dress over my head with one hand, me squirming and trying to get him to stop makes it harder for him but he still manages. i'm now stood in my underwear feeling uncomfortable whilst shawn sexually harass' me. i squeeze my eyes shut because i can't face him anymore. i feel useless. should i tell brad about this? what if brad leaves me after this? what if he thinks i cheated on him? all i can think about is brad. if brad was here right now he could get me out of this position and teach shawn a lesson. i wish brad wasn't in Poland so he could lie in bed and hug me and tell me everything's going to be alright. i wish i could wake up and this all be a dream, more like a nightmare. but it feels too real to be a nightmare. my thoughts overtook my mind and when i open my eyes i'm lay down on shawns bed as he has his hands behind me unclasping my bra. i'm not even going to try to stop him. he will overpower me. if i try to get him to stop he will hurt me even more than he already is. his fingertips glide down to my underwear and slowly pull them down my legs. i'm now fully naked with a fully clothed guy over me. my clothing and my dignity have been taken away. he started giving me hickeys almost everywhere. his fingers dig into my hips, which will leave bruises. i was in physical and mental pain. i don't even want to open my eyes anymore because i don't want to know what he's going to do to me. he moves off me for a minute, i'm guessing he's taking his clothes off too. before i was ready he was pounding himself in and out of me. it doesn't feel like he's wearing a condom. what if he gets me pregnant? the only person i ever want to start a family with is brad, i don't want a child that would look like shawn.
'put your legs around my waist' shawn demands and i lay there not taking in what he said and not moving. he lowers his face down so his alcohol smelling breath is fanning my face and whispers in my ear
'i said put your fucking legs around my waist' again, i don't respond, nor open my eyes. that's when i felt a slap to my cheek and shawn whisper
'do it, or you'll regret not doing it' he said which made me angry
'shawn i fucking regret coming out tonight because of you! your having sex with me without my consent, so that's rape. i specifically told you i have a boyfriend and i don't want to have sex with you but apparently that doesn't matter to you. you do realise this will scar me for the rest of my life and it will, and already has hurt me mentally and physically. you're a horrible human being, you don't deserve to be this rich and famous celebrity that most girls drool over because in reality you're a disrespectful dick' i snap. his face turns from full of lust to full of anger. i'm even more scared now.
'don't you ever snap at me like that'
'oh so me snapping at you is worse than you fucking raping me?' i say through glossy eyes. He's now roughly pounding into me harder and deeper leaving me in more pain than ever. i just want to go home.

sorry to all shawn stans (including me) but i needed drama :(:

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