Fulfilling Fate - Book 3

Chapter 4 - My Rearing Stallion

Raffaele

While waiting for the Capos to arrive, I've gone through half a bottle of bourbon. I have forgotten what it's like to be sober. I internally curse. I never wanted to betray Asimina. She may not be here, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I have. Laughing, I pour another glass. Before that woman, I would have several and didn't give a fuck. Tears never ran down my face; this pain in my chest was foreign. I can't accept my reality; I don't want to accept she's gone. I walk through that bedroom door every night, and my eyes travel to our bed. My heart fucking shatters when I see it empty. Insanely enough, I keep expecting her to be there.

Drying my eyes, the door opens, my four Capos walk in. "The job is done," Leon advises, making his way over to the minibar.

"An announcement has been placed on the church community. Father Frances had urgent family matters to attend to in Italy." Mark walks over, handing me a copy of the leaflet.

"Nice work," I mumble and raise my glass.

The boys take seats on the black leather sofas shifting uncomfortably. They each sense my dismal mood. I erupt with laughter earning perplexed glances from around the room. "Are you alright, Raf?" Sal asks nervously.

"Am I alright?" I repeat and evict the lump in my throat.

Standing from my seat, I pick up my glass and repeat, "Am I alright?" shaking my head, fury consumes me, my anger rises so violently I don't get a chance to contain it, smashing my glass on the floor, I abruptly turn to them, gritting my teeth. The boys tense as I spit, "She didn't, fucking fight to stay alive."

My chest burns as I yell. My thin shirt suffocates me. The boys flinch, scared to open their mouths, fearful of taking any approach. Hitting my head repeatedly, with my palm, I start to pace. "She won't leave my thoughts; she's embedded in there." Insanity finally wins, throwing me into a never-ending abyss as I start to laugh hysterically. "I can't even fuck a whore. Guilt consumes me."

Sal's mouth opens and quickly closes. Faltering his eyes, he attempts to come up with the right words and fails as his apologetic eyes meet mine. Defeatedly I drop on the chair in the corner for the room. My eyes fuse shut, and I'm praying the clog in my throat finally chokes me. "She didn't fight."

Mark walks over, handing me the bottle. It's what men do, drown it in liquor and hope it stays the fuck down and doesn't surface. "None of us have a clue as to what to say," he states the obvious.

"She loved you," Alex says, words he and all of us never thought he would speak.

"I know," My brows pull together; I stare in blank space.

"She gave you Nathan," Leon swirls his drink, not meeting anyone's eyes. "Take it from me, that hasn't had parents. One is better than none. Focus on him. It's what she would want."

Leon grew up in Saint Mary's, raised as a killer, sent on jobs at the age of ten. I know I need to pull it together for my son's sake, but I can't see a way out of this hole. "I failed her. I failed my son."

"She wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Sal shakes his head, "You still have Nathan."

Mark's phone rings, and everyone goes quiet as he answers, "Tommy," rolling his eyes, he places the phone on speaker. "Go ahead. We are listening," Mark confirms.

"Why the fuck is your phone off, Raf?" He yells and irks me.

"Watch how you talk to me. It died of battery. What the fuck do you want Tommy, aren't you meant to be providing comfort to one Katerina Alexiou?"

Exhaling slowly, he ignores my jab, "Get in the car, all of you now. My boys lured the assassin to our mother's restaurant."

The moment Tommy breathes his last word, my body tenses, and I jump to my feet, storming over to Mark's desk. I tuck my gun into my pants and throw my jacket on—a sharp intake of air fuels the fire within. I've been waiting for this.