Chapter 8- Numb

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Eight


"I'm glad you're feeling better"


I smile sipping on my drink, I was finally back at work and Jungkook had been the first person at my door that morning with flowers and a hot coffee.

It was sweet, way too sweet for someone like me. I didn't deserve his kindness. Nor did I deserve to be happy, this whole situation was somehow my fault.I just knew it.

"Me to"


I meet his gaze and give him a half hearted smile, I can see his big curious eyes questioning if I was really okay. I sigh and get up from my chair, I walk over to him and take another deep breath.

"Let's go for a walk, I need to tell you something"

He nods but I can see the worry creeping up on his face as we exit my office.


~~~


We end up walking around the nearby park, I take a seat when we come across a bench. "Is everything okay y/n?"

I nod as he scoots closer to me, the air was chilly today. "Yes and no...I'm about to tell you what's really going on with me right now and I'm only doing so because your too good of a guy for me"

I smile up at him and he frowns


"You remember that asshole who's party we went to?"

He nods and makes a face which makes me laugh a little, it seemed like it was the first time I laughed in a while. He just looked so cute.

"Well he's my best friend...or was I guess? I don't really know we haven't been talking." I sigh and frown as I look down at my lap. "You see the thing is, I've been in love with him for...god...since the day we met practically...I've told him a few times but he never takes my feelings seriously and I just found out that he...that he..."

I watch his concerned eyes search my face, I look back down feeling like I couldn't breath again. My throat burned at the thought of saying it out loud. This shouldn't be this hard.

"It's okay y/n"

Jungkook whispers wrapping an arm around me and stroking my arm gently. I take a few breaths and do my best to hold back my tears as I look back up at him.


"He um...he just got engaged"

My whole body felt numb as the word slipped from my mouth. I hated this. I hated that he still had such an effect on me. I should be strong and move on and say fuck you but I couldn't. I wanted to find him and hold him and tell him what a huge mistake this was but he cut me off.

Jungkook's grip tightens around me and I can't help but break, I blink away a few tears and pat my face not wanting to ruin my make up.


"I'm sorry y/n"


I half smile and I look up at him again "It's fine, I'm the dumb one who kept holding on. Even though he rejected me over and over again" my voice breaks again and Jungkook pulls me into his chest in a tight hug. I let myself give into his warmth and hug him back, he was just too good for me. I would make it my mission to find him someone he deserves.

After a few moments I pull back and look at him "Thank you" he smiles that cute boyish smile that would make anyone's heart melt.

"So as you can see I'm a mess right now, I'm in no way ready for any kind of relationship and it really doesn't help that your so perfect and sweet" he chuckles a little but his eyes stay low "I'm sorry I wasted your time Jungkook, I just don't want to use you in any way. Your too good of a guy"

When our eyes meet I feel even worse, I can see he's hurt and it kills me. "Can't say I've ever been broken up with for being too good of a guy" he forces a smile and I lean in and hug him again "I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, but don't count on me not still dropping by and taking you out"

I sit up and look at him confused and he smiles, his warm large hand cups my cheek "I know your dealing with some shit and need to work through it...I'm sorry but, I care too much already. I'm not going to stop seeing you and hanging out with you just because of that asshole"

I can't help but laugh a little, it sounded funny when he cursed. "We can be...friends? If that's okay with you" I smile and nod as does he.

"...and if things start to turn into other things that's okay to...I'm willing to wait"


I blush at that and he chuckles, friends. I can do friends. At least this way I wouldn't be leading him on, I had to admit that I did enjoy his company as well. He was a good distraction most of the time.

"Now lets get you inside it's freezing out here"


I smile as we both get up and start to head back towards the office, the warmth from Jungkook's overly tall frame felt nice as we walked side by side.


"Y/n"


We both turn our heads in the direction of my name and I freeze. My knees feel weak and I suddenly feel Jungkook's grasp tight around my waist. Helping me stand as the couple approaches us.


"I told you it was her"

I hear Leena say as she drags Yoongi towards us, I panic and look up at Jungkook. He smiles and leans down "just breath I'm right here" he whispers before pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"How are you? We haven't seen you in a while, did you hear the news? We're engaged!"


I inhale and it feels like flames are being shoved down my throat as Leena shoves her ring in my face. It's gorgeous, totally Yoongi's style. I force a smile

"Congratulations"


The word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth but at least I got it out. I can feel Yoongi glaring at me the whole time but I avoid his gaze and focus on breathing.

"It's a shame you missed the party, Yoongi invited everyone! Even his parents showed, everyone is just so happy for us. The wedding is going to be huge to! I just can't wait for you to see it, Yoongi wants only the best for our wedding. Isn't that right baby?"

I taste vomit? Oh god please don't throw up right now. It's not the time or place. I take a breath and blink again feeling my vision start to blur.


"Y/n"


My whole body runs cold when he calls my name, for the first time since he came over I look up and meet his gaze. I can see  sorrow but also anger and that makes me even more angry. What did he have to be angry about? All this was his doing.


"We have to go, come on Jungkook we don't want to be late"


I'm not sure how I managed to get the words out but I did, Jungkook smiles down at me before dragging me away from the two. I can faintly hear Leena yelling something about the wedding but I block it out. I block them both out.

~~~

Thoughts?

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