Agent J // NEX7 Fan ChengCheng

12

○ Unknowingly falling in love ○
○ Yet being unable to change forever ○

She was confused, not of the mission, nor of herself. The confusion didn't start because of nothing, it was just simply because of the head guard's actions. It was... peculiar, catching her off-guard as he didn't act quite the usual. He has been a lot brighter and friendlier but he never completely lost his serious behavior. It was just unusual to her.

She was so used to him being cold and serious to everyone at all times that she couldn't get used to him being like this, it was too much of a contrast from his past behavior. Moreover, it only started weeks after their encounter with Lyre at her brothers' company. She didn't know what at all happened to him.

She wanted to embrace and accept or just understand his new self but it was just so different. She can't bring herself to understand someone she barely knew who changed just recently. She was never someone who does those kind of things. People would say that she's too judgemental or has trust issues but to her it's quite normal actually.

She thought about it in the long run. What if he changed just because he made a mistake? What if he changed because he wanted something from her? What if he changed because he was starting something secretly and wanted to hide it? Endless possibilities filled her head and she was slowly losing her mind.

But something stood out most to her, more of a feeling towards the head guard. She had always thought that there was more than just his cold demeanor and heartless actions to protect the kingdom and fulfill his duties. She had always known that people like him have another side shown to very little people.

But now that she has seen it herself, she didn't know how to feel. She had always felt some form of attraction towards him and she had always thought that it was merely a temporary feeling as he was indeed a handsome man. Whatever she felt for him, she had always ignored it, thinking of it as some distraction from what she had always done best.

But she couldn't deny that she likes his current attitude more than his cold and heartless one. But there were times when she couldn't understand his behavior and missed his old one. She thought that it was his charm to act like that, all strong when he's also like her, she could see it in him.

She knew that he was just like her, knowing what to do yet sometimes so hopeless without other people. If it weren't for her brothers and Jocelyn, she would already given up this mission, this job of hers, the risky path she chose to take. Although she might've not talked to him about these matters she knew, she knew what was happening to him. And she felt it too.

The head guard wan't any better compared to her. He had no idea on why his behavior had changed so drastically. It would have been better if it was towards everyone but no, it was only towards her. He was more careful, more meticulous, kinder, and definitely way nicer to her than anyone else.

He had also noticed that he had been smiling a lot in front of her, or in front of himself. And all that just because of her face appearing in his mind every 5 seconds. Her face which has always been covered by that mask she never takes off, but most of all, the look on her face when she had nearly sacrificed her life for the others in the casino.

He knew that she was the best spy or agent they could ever get, that she is the best in this kind of job he had been in since a few years ago. He knew that she could potentially be better than him at what he does. Well, she did run down a hospital right after she collapsed from fighting and fire surrounding her.

He just thought that it was admiration towards her work, her methods, and her ways of dealing with crime or such undignified actions. She could've done something so small, so subtle and the next thing you know, the man is already dead, meeting satan's punishments for his sins and deeds.

But that feeling inside him kept on telling him that it was more than just a mere admiration towards her work or even herself. It was more than just a simple feeling of wanting to be able to be like her, he knew that as he was always in this industry of constant danger and fighting, and that he is possibly as good as she is.

He knew every drill, every rule, every move he has ever need to do. But seeing her, he would completely forget everything if it weren't for the fact that he was constantly reminded of the situation. He knew that it could possibly be love, however strong that word or feeling may be. It wasn't impossible, not at all, despite it being too fast.

He thought that he had caught on these feelings to quickly. For a man who has never had a relationship since he became a part of the guards, he had never thought that he would fall for someone this quickly. Moreover to a woman whose face can't even clearly be seen by him.

But he was never a man who would judge a woman by her face, he is over those days. He was hurt by a woman he loved and picked from her visuals, and she had chosen to be with him simply because he was rich and handsome. And he completely regretted the time he caught her cheating on him with someone richer, more handsome, better than he was.

Since then, he was too afraid to love, too afraid of being hurt again, moreover to someone he would most likely be seeing everyday for the coming months. He didn't want to, but his heart craved for love, something more than just love from his family, he craved for someone he would love until the end of time.

Little did he know, she had also been hurt. The guy she went out with was the one behind the murder of her deceased friend, Michelle. He had been bugged when she was mournig for her friend and that was when she found out about him and they broke up right after she found out.

The two were scared, afraid of being hurt by the one they love again. They weren't sure of the feelings they felt for each other at the moment, too scared that it will all come back to them like a boomerang. They were having a war, between their logical mind and their rebellious heart. But they then came to a conclusion that they weren't ready, or so they thought they weren't. They wanted it so badly yet too afraid to take it themselves.

"Am I even ready to love again?"