A Christmas Walk

20.

My alarm went off but I was already awake. I couldn't sleep last night. My entire suitcase was pack and I was ready to fly home, physically. I didn't want to leave. Especially after yesterday. I could never forget all the fun that we had; the feels I had. Between a snowball fight and a dinner with an escape from paparazzi; how could I forget? I rolled over in my bed and faced the door.

A soft knock echoed in my room. I pulled the blankets up tighter to my face. I wanted to sink away into this bed so I couldn't leave.
"Come in." I called to whomever was on the other side, I had a guess. Emma lightly padded in the room.
"Good morning Miss Leon, are you ready to go?"
"Physically." I answered her. She sat down at the foot of my bed.
"I understand. If I were you, I'd tell him how you feel." I shook my head.
"How I do or don't feel doesn't matter. I live in California and he is a Prince. We live completely different lives." I snuggled further into my bed. "All of this will pass." I tell her, but I'm not sure who I was trying to convince more. We both knew that wasn't true.
"Plane leaves soon, we should get you going." Another knock came at the door. I sat up quickly; that was Prince Hayes. I couldn't let him see me like this.
"Come in." I shoved my heels into my sneakers. Hayes stood in the doorway. He seemed small and lost.
"Ready?" I nodded even though that was a lie.

We piled everything into the limo. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to grab all my stuff and march back up to the room but at the same time my heart strings were pulling me home. Half of me felt like I belonged here, the logical half of me knew better. This was just a job attached with a mini vacation. Unfortunately, it could be nothing more.

As Ben drove us to the airport we didn't speak. I just watched Baltaver pass outside the window one last time. I also was trying to avoid crying. I'm not a very graceful crier. My eyes get red and puffy and I scrunch my brows together. Snot and tears make a mess on my face too. I wish I could hit a pause button but I probably would have used it yesterday. That's what made this even harder, yesterday was the best of all the days. I wish he would have been stuck in meetings all day. It's harsh to think that but it might have made leaving easier today.

Even though the airport was smaller than the one in California, it still haunted me.
"Thank you for everything Hayes. You really have been accommodating and very generous. You're family too." He smiled. I wish I could have said goodbye to the King and Queen but I think it only would have been harder.
"It was no trouble at all, really."
"Can I hug you or is that not okay?" He put his arms around me and pulled me in close. The fresh smell of him tickled my nose. I didn't want to let go. "Okay, well I have a plane to catch." I pulled back. Hayes nodded. "Thank you, again." He smiled softly. I got out of the limo but the door stayed open. Ben was holding it with my bags next to him. "It was nice getting to know you Ben." Ben smiled and stuck out his hand. I disregard that and threw my arms around him. He gently patted my back. I pulled back. My broken heart pieces sank out of my chest into my feet. I felt like I couldn't move. "Okay, well, bye." I smiled into the car at Hayes and then at Ben.
"I hope to see you soon, Miss Leon." Ben said softly. I smiled trying to hold in tears. I nodded. I grabbed my bags and started towards the doors.
"Autumn." Hayes said loudly from the car. I turned and looked at him. "If you ever find yourself in Baltaver again, please visit." I nodded with a smile.
"Of course." I said just loud enough for my words to reach him. "If you're ever in California, I hope you find me." His smile wavered with a nod. I turned back around. I don't think I could hold back the tears anymore. The lines were empty. I made it to the counter. The lady looked at me.
"Goodbyes are always rough, aren't they?" I nodded in agreement.
"You have no idea." I tried not to sniffle and wiped my tears with my sleeve.

I looked out the window at the drop off line. The limo was far gone and new people were unloading in our spot. I didn't want to know how long they sat before they finally left, if they waited at all. I squeezed my backpack straps tightly in both hands.
"Goodbye William, goodbye Ben, goodbye Baltaver." I whispered to the glass.