My Story/ also kinda diary

And I Oop..

So... 

I did a thing...

I was talking to some friends on a Youtube Live (linked above)

And I got super emotional, I started crying and I was super upset. I told them that I felt suicidal, and I wanted to die because I missed my ex. Which was all true, I would never lie yo my fam. I miss Savannah so much, I would give anything to see her again. For her to love me again.

I know she doesn't like me anymore, and that really hurts my heart. But I told them almost everything, and how I felt. I turned on a song (the hour-long version) that reminded me of her, and i listened to it the whole time I talked to my friends. I will link that here V

This song makes me remember everything I ever did with her. All the times we skipped class together in the bathroom, All the times we got in trouble for passing notes, or for PDA. I remember our first kiss, when we first met, and all the times we held hands. All the times we shared earbuds to listen to music during class, copied off of each other's work, and laughed together. I remember when we went to Cedar Point with the school, and she was scared so I held her hand on the roller coasters. I remember field day when we say together on a blanket and talked for hours. I remember doing projects together and sitting outside in the cold trying to keep each other warm. I remember our second kiss, which was in the toy aisle in Meijer and Going to her friend's house with her. I remember sitting on the floor in the back of the room with her during class, and i remember during a movie at school, we threw popcorn at each other, and I remember getting Christmas presents for each other. And I remember all of the hugs and all of the funny and weird conversations we had.

But don't get me wrong, our relationship was anything but perfect. I remember when we got into a fistfight in the hallway, I remember when I accidentally brought a pocket knife to school and she thought i was going to hurt her, I remember when she started to cut herself because of me. I remember crying in the bathroom because of fights, I remember when she gave me notes saying that I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship, and when she didn't want to be near me. I remember when she heard a rumor that I was cheating and flipped out, I remember when our parents got into a fight and forced us to break up, and i remember getting back together secretly. I remember all the times she was mad at me, and I was mad at her. I remember trying to commit suicide because of her, I remember when I got back from the hospital and she broke up with me. And I remember that being the end of our relationship.

Now I know she doesn't love me anymore, she has a new girlfriend who is better than me, and she would rather die than see me again.

I miss her so much, and she doesn't care.

Bye Guys, Thanks For Reading My Story. I Love You!

<3