𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (Completed)

35. W H Y A R E Y O U H E R E ?

(I strongly recommend to listen to 'Nothing's gonna hurt you baby' by Cigarettes After Sex❤️ this chapter pretty much goes well with the music :) and partially inspired from the song )

IVY'S    P.O.V

The only thing I can think about is my desperate need to get out of here.

"Ivy! Please!"

Chace continues to call me as I keep walking trying my level best to not give in to my temptations to turn back. He isn't Ethan. He isn't Ethan. Chace is not Ethan. Despite the constant reassurances, no matter how hard I try, my mind can't stop morphing Chace's face into Ethan.

"Ivy please listen to me." Chace's hand circled around my arm gently spinning me to meet his gaze.

I quickly eject my arm from his grip, firmly staring at the ground. "Don't you dare touch me." I spit, walking towards the exit. A wave of canvasses immediately come flooding my mind, causing me to reluctantly accept my curiosity.

How did he know I was here?

"Ivy I really want to talk. Please," He says, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down his throat, voice trembling with emotion. It's as if there is something stuck inside that is making it difficult for him to swallow, let alone find the right amount of words to give me a convincing explanation as to why he's here.

I'm close to feeling sorry for him but I refuse to give in. I inherently feel my stomach churning with a victory.

Good.

Let him feel it.

"I really want to have this conversation with you and I promise to tell you everything, I swear. Please just... Give me this chance because I owe you one. You deserve to know the truth-I- I don't want to keep running away."

"How did you know I was here?" I challenge, Crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Do you believe this will change? My perspective of you? My impression of you?"

The blue in his eyes darkens with guilt, face squashing into a weather-beaten leaf on a dry, chilly winter morning.

Regardless, I keep going not letting my guard down.

"How will I know for sure if whatever it is that you want to say- how will I know that you probably may not run away again? And I'm left to figure it out... again... by myself? Can you answer me that?"

His eyes become misty, tears ready to fall. That's it. Feel the pain.

"Tell me, Chace," I ask, stepping closer towards him. "Answer the question."

Closing his eyes a tear slides across his face. "If you will allow me to tell you, you will know. To be more specific? I'm not going to go anywhere. Not this time." He says, taking my hands and bringing them to his lips, leaving trails of kisses on each finger.

"You want this, I'm giving it to you. I don't expect you to take me back. It's your decision and it is my duty to respect the hell out of it. All I'm asking... is for you to give me this one chance."

The wind gushes against the sea, water splashing on the shore. I can't react. I can't think. I can't speak. The images, the scenes of a boy being beaten up, abused by his parents numbingly flash through my still mind.

That explains the incident at Lester's.

That explains the letter and why he left.

I shift my focus to Chace, describing every dark, disturbing detail about the childhood he shouldn't have deserved. A negligent shitty excuse of a mother, drugged out of her mind, leaving her son behind to be constantly molested, abused and beaten up by a father who almost cost him his life.

The world viewing him as a misfit with no purpose or direction. Judging him when they have no idea the amount of pain he had to endure. The looks of disgust, following and sucking onto him like a leech.

He wanted to be understood. To be cared for. He wanted to prove them wrong but decided to give it up, knowing a change won't take place for the better. And so he continued to carry the hopelessness around his shoulders, keeping every thought perfectly hidden, afraid to give himself away.

Covering my hands on top of his rough ones, I rest my head against his shoulder, caressing my thumb the way he did to me, hoping to ease the traction he must be feeling in his nerves.

"Another reason why I left?" Chace breaks the silence, leaning as his head is on top of mine. "Remember what I said to you while we were having breakfast? Before I"-

"I do. And I don't see you as a friend. I just wanted to be near you, when I thought I couldn't have you."

He sighs, breathing in and exhaling with ease. "There's nothing I can do to apologize, nothing I can do to take back after what I had to put you through. I didn't deserve you, Ivy. I didn't deserve you because it killed me when I felt things I never have experienced... with any other girl before you came. It killed me that I loved you but I couldn't feel it."

"It killed me too... when I felt it but you wouldn't know how to give the answer I was wanting to hear... Neither of us didn't know how to convey it."

I raise my head turning to look at him.

"The connection? I felt it. I'm not denying it and I never did, back then. What held us back was when we didn't want to break each other saying the words but not knowing how to handle the after-effects of what happens when we do say them."

Chace's jaw tenses. "I knew you were near somewhere, I realized a lot of things I didn't know off. I wanted to share them all with you when Vihaan made me understand them bit by bit."

"I can't believe I'm saying this but we are meant to be. If two people are meant to be if it is meant to happen... they will find their way back in the long run."

"I'm not Ethan. I would never do that to you... I would never in a million years do anything that would break you in ways that you can't feel yourself anymore... I'm not asking you to believe me neither do I want you to. But I knew you were worth it and I sure as hell would make you want to feel you are."

It's my turn to tense up.

"Baby, you are so worth it," Ethan says pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear planting kiss on my cheek.

I slowly free my hand from Chace's grip but he holds on to me refusing to let go. I know what this means. And he is far from Ethan. Or my dad. Or anybody who made me survive hell.

We don't want to be the ones who can't bare to stand to look at each other in the eye. We don't want to be the ones who can't try.

We don't want to be the ones who keep searching because for us, the search is over. It's only going to take a while to climb the end of the rope.

"We will get there." Chace whispers, nuzzling closer to his embrace.