Multiverse: Reality Dreams

CHAPTER: I

    Hi guys, welcome to my first book. It's gonna be full of action shit, psychological shit, real shit, funny shit, sad shit, confusing shit and finally my personal favorite, insane shit. I want you take a dive into what I experienced and experiencing. My name is Chris Junior and lets begin on this journey on how I became confused on who tf I really am.

   I remember like it was yesterday. In retrospect it could've been yesterday but today I'm 23 years old. But yesterday I was 13 years old when the event happened. I went to sleep and woke up to sirens, explosions, screaming and banging on my room door. Confused, I walk to the door hesitant.
"Hello" I said.
A familiar voice with concern said "Get the fuck up. We have to go now!"
I opened the door and looked but didn't see anyone until I looked down. IT WAS MY FUCKING CHAWEENIE!
"Hey butt buttttttt!" I said looking around to see who was knocking on my door. When I was about to pick him up.. "we don't have time for this! Don't pick me up. We have to go meet your family!"
I looked at my dog Bullet and he was talking. With actual words. I felt my body get weak and slowly backed away. I don't wanna say I fainted because that will make me a pussy. But tbh, I woke up to him licking me. So make a wild guess to what happened. "Omg butt butt I had the craziest dream. Yo ass was talking and.."
"Look and listen. I know it's hard for you to do both. Your world is no longer your world. You unexplainably were unbothered by the collision and have family in all of the universes. You may have to save it and I'm here to help you"
"Yea um. One, how tf am I supposed to do that? Two, who taught you to speak? Three, HOW THE FUCK DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN? And four.... is there food here. I'm starvin."
He started walking up the stairs and gestured to follow him.

Ok so guys this is when I started to hear voices and really thought I was going completely insane. There are two voices. To distinguish them, one voice will have this (). This voice sounds like Morgan Freeman. The other voice will have {}. This voice sounds like PeeWee Herman. Don't judge me. Judge them. Hahah ok but back to the story.

{I think your dog may be a little coo coo hehe} "tell me about it" I said.
"What?" Bullet said.
"I said tell me about it"
"Tell you about what" he said. But before I could tell him what I heard I couldn't believe my eyes. In my living room, I seen Batman, Deadpool, Harley Quinn, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Spider-Man.
Spider-Man was hanging from the ceiling while Deadpool was harassing him for a kiss. Red Hood was watching the game eating popcorn. Harley and Robin seemed to be having a heated argument about something. Then I seen Batman, Nightwing and Red Robin having a conversation by the front door.
(he's going to faint again)
{hahaha pussy}
Ok imma be honest. This time I was pretty overwhelmed but ultimately confused with hella excitement and with a little touch of horny. I said before, don't judge me lol.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY BABYYYY!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCHHHH!!" Harley said running towards me. She gave me a tight hug to the point where I couldn't talk. Of course I hugged back lol. She's freaking Harley Quinn! But I was still hella confused.
"Quinn. Lets not confuse him. Chris.. have a seat" said Batman in probably the scariest voice I ever heard.
"Yes sir" I said. Still excited, confused, scared and horny. I sat by Red Hood. Without even looking at me he just handed me the bowl of popcorn.
"First day in the circus?" He said with a smirk. His voice sounded like he was experienced with sarcasm and nonchalant. I shook my head and grabbed the popcorn. I was still in awe staring at everyone. I was dropping popcorn trying to eat them and bullet would eat them off the ground.
"I gather you know who we are" Batman said.
"Mmhmm" I said with popcorn in my mouth. (Dont talk with your mouth full. It's both rude and disgusting) I didn't know it was one of my voices at the time still so I looked at Red hood and said "sorry". He gave me a confused look back and grabbed some popcorn.
"We need your help" said Batman. I choked and spit out my popcorn. Bullet ran to eat it but Harley grabbed him and started talking to him.
"What you need me to do?! Why you need MY help?! At first I was gonna say you guys aren't real but I just heard my fucking dog talked so I'm still being pretty open minded about this!!!" Robin walked up to me. Felt like he was staring in my soul. After a slight pause of a stare down, I smiled. I think I was still fan girling but I'm not sure. "Father. I still can't believe he's related to us. Harley, maybe. The dead guy in the red pool suit, definitely. However, I'm willing to dismiss this pathetic charity case. We don't need his help!" I laughed. He is really really tiny but dangerous with a smart mouth. I knew I was gonna start fucking with him. "Robin!" Said Nightwing. He. Was. Fucking. Gorgeous! But I tried not to stare. {he kept staring}. You don't suppose to be narrating. You're gonna confuse the reader! {fineeeee. Haha, tell your story! just hurry up and get to main part of chapter 1 before I kill myself}

      "Can someone please tell me what going on!?!" I said. After that I heard mumbling and the ripping of paper. It was Deadpool ripping the web off his mouth. "Shit" said Red Hood.
"I just want to let everyone know that, yup that was me. It was the burrito and then that black hole worm jump didn't help my stomach." He said. Then he looked at me intensely and then out of nowhere sat on my lap and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "I missed you so fucking much. We're gonna go to the carnival and beat up the cotton machine maker and take the machine. And then buy a Ferris wheel with turbo on the carts to make it go fast..
"Enough! Chris pay attention! You are here because this collision happened before." Said Batman

   At this point, y'all know I've been confused since this story started. He continued "when you were three, the collision of our universes mashed together. I am aware that in your universe all of us are comic book characters in our perspective universes. Deadpool and Spider-Man are both Marvel while the rest of us are DC. In the previous collision, you were raised by Harley and Deadpool who supposedly started dating when she split with the Joker"
"Tell ya own business B-man" she said with her tongue sticking out.
"Apparently, they saved your life from being weak to the different fumes of the universes by giving you each of their blood. Harley had a composite of Ivy formula in her blood to make her invulnerable to fumes and Deadpool have regenerative powers. They injected you with each of their blood which made your immune system strong and sustainable. However, due to the hosts having scared or tampered with DNA your molecules began to decay from lack stability." Said Red Robin.
"I didn't know what else to do." Said Harley with tears in her eyes. "I wanted to have a baby but I couldn't have one because of Mistah J reasons. So when I seen you I knew I had to save you and make you mine" she said.
"So like, what happened to me" I said. Everyone looked at Batman instead of Robin. He was still staring at me with a full on grudge.
"Even tho me and B-man had our differences. I knew  he cared for others. So I stole something to get his attention and when he got there, I asked him to save you" she said. Tears were falling down at this point.
"Shit. I mean.. fuck... sorry. Umm, what happened after?" I said. Getting more curious and afraid at the same time. After what felt like a day pause. Batman finally said "I gave you a blood transfusion to balance out the reconstruction of the different DNAs"
"I don't get it! What that mean?" I said sounding concerned. Was I gonna die or something?
"It means you're apart of all three universes. And... technically, your parents are Batman, Deadpool and Harley Quinn." Said Spider Man.