Endearment | komahina (COMPLETED)

New beginnings

I walked over to the slim figure laying in the hospital bed. Our eyes barely met, unlike usual.
I didn't even have words for the amount of sadness that overcame me.
"So....what Chiaki said..." I just stood in awe.
He frowned looking at the outside landscape next to his bed, the sun touching the side of his face making it beam.

"Yes." The lump in his throat was obvious.
A stray chair was leaned next to the bed as I pulled it over right next to the railing of the hospital bed.
I sat waiting for him to look my way, but it must have been too painful because he didn't bat an eye away from the window displaying the beautiful landscape of the island.

The silence lasted too long making me feel uneasy.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned my arms folded across myself.
I could see him wince at that.
He put a hand up to his face rubbing his brow in frustration.

"I just.." He sighed breathing out heavily.
"You know I care about you right? and I'd want to know when your sick. Especially like this, this is a lot Nagito I mean are you okay?" I couldn't find the right way to put it. It all felt like water rushing down the drain, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop any of this from happening.

"It's always pain. Why do I always have to deal with someone in pain. I'm just not worth it Hajime. You don't need to care or worry about me." He folded his hands together again sighing.
"But I do care about you Nagito." He turned his head, looking at me with a sad expression plastered on his face.
He pressed his two thumbs together not sure what to say next.
I placed my hands on top of his.

He looked at me waiting for something.
"I do care. It doesn't matter what people have done to you in the past, what matters is the future. Look around at everyone here on the island they are all your friends....and me." I squeezed his hands tighter.

"Look how far we've come. You use to hate me." We both laughed accepting straight facts.
I looked down at our hands.
"Hajime, it will be okay." I looked up to see his soft eyes reassuring me.
I nodded slowly placing a hand on his shoulder, pulling him in for a hug.

He flinched gasping a bit, but slowly hugged me back.
All I could feel was the same emotions of yesterday night.
The slow dancing, laughing, the song that sucked my thoughts in way too deep. Everything fit together so perfectly.

"Thank you." I released my hug as he turned his focus back to the window.
"Maybe when I feel better we could go around the island like we always do."
My small smile crept up on my face, the way the sun hit his hair was so pretty it set perfectly on his white wavy hair.
He turned towards me in a bit of a confused way.
"Hey Hajime Maybe when I feel better we could go around the island like we always do." He pointed toward the window.

It hit me then.
"Yeah you said that a few seconds ago." I said feeling a bit of guilt settle in.
"I did?" He sighed holding himself. "I'm sorry hajime." He rubbed his temples laying back on the bed
"I'm a little tired, I think I'm gonna rest for a little while." He turned over closing his eyes barley talking to me.

"Okay, I'll be here don't worry." I patted his hand that rested on the side of his bed.
"That's....go...od." He drifted off to sleep fairly quickly. I gripped his hand tight, but thoughts still swirled in my head.
Was he really okay?
-
-
-
-
"I'm still tired." He laughed jokingly but I couldn't take any jokes at the moment.
"Yeah, you knocked out for a really long time." He pointed to the sky that was now covered in small twinkling lights.
"Well guess no sleep for me tonight." I sighed digging my fork into the food Mikan had brought from dinner with everyone else earlier. I felt like I'd been here all day, which I guess was mostly true.

I rubbed my eyes sleepily while trying to keep them open.
I was exhausted, but I wouldn't move a muscle just to make sure Nagito was okay.

"Didn't Mikan say you were doing a bit better?" His smile shifted.
"Yeah She said my symptoms were better. But it's always there, you know." We both fell silent until the silence was interrupted by the somehow happy boy.

"Thanks for being here Hajime, I know I'm a freak and you'd rather not be around me." A confused expression appeared on my face.

"Your not trash. And I do like being around you." I smiled but it quickly shifted to a frown.
I didn't really feel like smiling.
"I...I've just never had anyone who's been....there for me like you have this past while...besides my parents...but that was a long time ago." He faced palmed, his face tightened in a pain I could never understand.
"But me? Why would you care about me?" I questioned my smile regaining on my lips.

"You made me feel like...I can be who I wanna be. I don't think I've ever met someone like you. Thank you for that." He smiled but I strained back, memories surfacing in my head. Ones I didn't want to remember in this moment. He saw my uncomfortable face as I leaned back in the chair I was sitting in.

"I mean....nothing can change what I did in the past. But maybe you could help me be better?" His face was tense strained with pain. I knew, and most of us knew he was just holding it all in somehow.
I nodded.
"Of course I can." I rested my hand on his are eyes meeting once again. That feeling.
We both burst out laughing letting the moment sink in.
"So what do you wanna do when your out of here soon?" I asked questioning.

"I don't know maybe-" he was cut off by  a wave of uneasiness.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No, but right now yes." He laid back his eyes trailing back and fourth.

I worried about him but I liked him.
And I wasn't scared to admit it to myself.