Chapter Twenty-four Come as You Are
This is becoming too much to deal with. WHEN are you coming home? I haven't received so much as a single word from you in at least a year. Summer came and went, now winter is at it's end again and spring is here for the second time. Yet you have not returned my ring and I still get strange items in the mail, meant for our house, I assume. I hold out hope that your return grows nearer with every passing day, but each of those same days brings renewed doubt, frustration, and my trust is slowly fading.
I did not write in this journal for a long time, since I stood alone on the roof last June, waiting for you and you never came. I can't tell you how it made me feel, to be so certain, so exited to see you, and to be so wrong. I felt abandoned all over again and knew I had to let go of you just a little bit more or lose my mind.
I guess I should catch you up.
Summer was ok. It was strange to turn 19, it didn't even seem like I'd ever been 18. I guess time stood still for me and here I'll be turning twenty in just a few months. Strange to think the last time I saw you we were seventeen. Am I ever going to be happy Sara? It would be nice to be able to smile again and mean it.
Thanks for the birthday gifts, I needed a new green sweater. I was just thinking that it needed replacing and then one comes with the post. I do love your ability to know what I'm thinking. Just like with the nautical decor I decided on for the boat landing. Weird, but very handy.
Thanks for all the Christmas gifts, too. I really needed a few new robes, with classes and all. It was so much easier to dress when I was a student and we wore the same outfit every single day. (though I'd be lying if I said I don't love great clothes.) I just wish I could send you something for your birthday. Last year I left your gift by the front door of the cottage so you could blink in and pick it up without venturing through the house, but you returned the note I sent to let you know and the gift was still there when I went back.
In August we went to the Quidditch World Cup and England was in the lead, then lost their seeker to a dirty play by Ireland. They were allowed to designate a replacement player and Ron had me volunteered instantly. Before I knew what was happening, I was on my broom and wearing England's uniform. I was furious with Ron, but I'd forgotten how much I love playing Quidditch and enjoyed the experience thoroughly. It was different, playing with the best in the world, and incredibly difficult, but I managed to catch the snitch to win the game. I wish you could have been there, Sara. You always did like Quidditch and this was my best moment to date. They even gave me one of the trophies and I put it in the house next to my father's plaque .
You should see our house! It's huge, it's beautiful, and it's almost done! The back part went up last summer and they constructed the ells in the fall. The inside, including the wiring and the pipes, was completed over the winter. As soon as the ground dries a little more they'll be finishing off the tile in the courtyard and installing the fountains that mysteriously showed up there. (thank you) I ordered a bunch of lilac trees from New York State and I should be getting them soon. I thought you might like being surrounded by a million purple flowers.
There is a swimming pool in a glass solarium off the back. I know it wasn't in the plans, but I've always wanted one. Since Seamus and I are doing so well, I thought I'd go ahead with it. We don't really even have to work anymore. He's hired people to handle every detail, so we just stop in now and again. Ron and Hermione are in charge of most of it, but they can only work at night. Sometimes Seamus, Neville and I go there when Ron and Hermione are working and no work gets done, unless you count quality control and inspection. (ha ha)
I made a most interesting hiding place off the stair that leads down to the cave. It's an intricate labyrinth with a locked room at the end. It took me forever, but Snape told Dumbledore the Ka-tet was being sought after and Hermione's book had to become more secure. I don't know how much, if anything Snape told you about Malfoy, but he showed up here last summer and gave me a warning. He only stayed a moment and was extremely rude to me, for show I guess. His note said he was being watched and to not contact him.