31• Say More Right Now!

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31• Say More Right Now!

USUALLY, when the person you're dating says "we need to talk", it means that they want to break up

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USUALLY, when the person you're dating says "we need to talk", it means that they want to break up. That things aren't working out for them anymore and it's time to end it. Most people's stomachs would drop when they heard those words, but not mine. I'd never been a romantic. Never been a relationship person. I assumed that when Alexander and I broke up, it would be fine. I would be fine.

I guess I just assumed that we would break up later than this.

But yet, here I was. Sitting on Alexander's sofa, holding one of his green velvet pillows against my chest, and he was going to break up with me. He was going to break up with me right in front of Osbourne. That was the little blue teddy bear, for your information. Alexander and I decided to name him Osbourne for some reason. I said it was too Australian to name an American teddy bear Osbourne. But then Alexander said that I was assuming the teddy bear was American just because it was in California. So I said touché and we named him Osbourne—

"I'm gay."

My eyes darted up to meet his, widened and in shock. "You—huh—what?"

He was scratching the top of his head. "I'm... gay."

"You are—what now?"

"I am a homosexual? Queer? A bloke who likes other blokes—"

I shushed him. "No, I don't need synonyms!" I exclaimed, then grabbing both of his hands and dropping the velvet pillow. "I heard you and I know what the word means. I'm just... huh? Fucking pardon?"

"Right," Alexander said. "I know, it doesn't make sense. I didn't... I didn't know it for sure. Even before I came here, I always thought it might be a possibility. But I just didn't know."

"The fuck?" I asked and then shook my head. "Oops. Sorry. Not—not what I meant to say. I meant to say... say more right now!"

Alexander chuckled. "Before I came here, I had this thing with a guy back home... It's who I wrote the song about. When he kissed me and it confused the hell out of me. I came here and then I met you and... well, you're just my type in girl-form. I thought maybe I wasn't gay when I met you."

"And then you realized you were gay?" I asked and he nodded. "Oh my god! I totally turned you gay! Am I that bad of a girlfriend? Or a kisser?"

I totally turned Alexander gay. This is why I should never date anyone! This is why I should stay away from relationships for the rest of my life. I wasn't built to be in a relationship. For the love of God, I turn people away so much that they start dating their own sex! That's how bad at relationships I am! For fuck's sake...

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