URGENT READ NOW/QUICKLY!!!
PEOPLE! (Yes, I’ve got your attention!!) ACT NOW/QUICKLY! THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT WILL EXPLODE IN THE NEXT 5 HOURS! (Please spend the first two reading and/or contemplating what you are about to read.)SO YOU HAVE A GRAND TOTAL OF 3 HOURS! Do something!!!!!!!!!!
If we don’t want to go into the ins and outs of my society (SOAP-Society Of Air Protection) and the causes we collect for (please visit www.SOAP-TopSecretWebsite.co.uk/Don’tRead/DonateNow for more details on donating) – it really is a good cause…then we can skip the formalities and get right on to business! Goodness, look at the time I’ve wasted a whole 15minutes trying to find our website’s link and rambling on about donating (please donate we have very few sponsors!) that I’ve wasted… half an hour! If we then add the 30minutes it will take for Gerry to find you and give you this document (oh wait maybe Paul can do it… he’s good at speed walking…) we’ve wasted a whole hour of the five hours we have left! Golly time flies when we’re having fun! Soooooo…. Where were we…? Oh yeah! The world will explode!
The reason for this is mainly due to over population in the world, you see too many people are breathing out air and the air is accustomed to having lots of space but due to overpopulation of humans we have overpopulation of air! Now the air is really grouchy because it is too squashed. So the air and the humans have declared war on each other (J) BUT the air didn’t attack. So now all the humans are celebrating (L) because the air has surrendered! OR so they think! But the air – our secret alliance has informed us that this is not so and they will launch a secret attack in my – now it’s just 2 minutes! So humans beware! The whole earth (as you know it, not as we know it) will EXPLODE!!!