xix. one smile, then i died

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it took one look
and forever lay out in front of me
- your song, parokya ni edgar

• •

the cheesiest fucking line there ever was to exist: time heals.

despite it being that, it was the truest one there is.

time heals — if it did not, then park chaeyoung won't be there at all; happy, contented, and most especially settled.

now she just had to do something on her own. it had been so long. she had been holding back on this one.

technically she wasn't alone, lisa was inside the car, but in essence she was doing it alone since she was the only one standing on her father's grave.

the year had came like a blur for chae, barely registering what happened, the loss, the sadness, and of course despite the bleakness of it, there was a silver lining.

let's not say it is lisa; yes, she is a part of it, but the silver lining is a whole other spectrum of things that kept chae there in that earth, breathing, smiling.

the blonde — she had bleached and dyed her hair again (consistency) — took a seat, crossing her legs with each other and she stared at the tombstone.

she had no idea what to say, there were a lot of things in her mind, one thing that kept on popping in her head though, was her father's smile.

a lot of people say that she got her father's smile.

she sighed.

she reached out and ran her fingertips along the engraved name of her father.

"thank you, dad." she breathed out and a tear trickled down her ample cheeks. "i miss you," there really were not enough words in this world to articulate what it's like to have someone and to have lost them.

one day they are laughing, then the next there was nothing. only silence.

it took chaeng a long moment to compose herself, but lisa waited, she will always wait. the australian pushed herself up and dusted her dress. she sniffled, wiped her tears away and walked back to the car lisa was in.

lisa immediately had gotten out of the car, and met chaeyoung half way, they engulfed each other in a tight embrace, lisa lifted chae up and buried her face against her neck.

"i'm so fucking proud of you, baby." lisa kissed chae's jaw line.

chae did not immediately reply, but when she pulled out from the hug, she cupped lisa's cheek and kissed her square on the lips. "i love you,"

lisa returned the kiss, not being able to help herself, she grabbed chaeyoung's butt. "hmm, love you so much," she nuzzled her nose against chaeng's, "c'mon, we have a wedding to catch."

they laughed into each other's mouths, lisa opened the door for chaeng.

"c'mon, baby, jennie will be pissed."

another set of laughter, they buckled their seatbelts, kiss once more, and headed to church.

one thought lingering in their minds.

when will it be their turn?

soon, lisa thought.

the end.

©️ dissonant, 2019

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