Back To You

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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU AND ME TO FIX THIS🙃

Louis paced Harry's changing room anxious to talk to him. He's talked to him before, but this time he intended to let Harry back in. All the other times it was a hard "no", he was still terrified of being hurt again. But if the only way to stop the drinking and the drugs is to go back to Harry then he'd do it. He couldn't leave his sisters, the way he was going he wouldn't last much longer if he continued. He's already lost 4 pounds of wait in the last 2 weeks. He's not been eating because of the drugs, he's drunk all the time and he was sacred of something bad happening to him. What would happen to his sisters is unthinkable. So, he's gone to talk to Harry. Hoping that they can find a way to make them work.

He paced the room, mumbling words he wanted to say. But when Harry came into the room and saw Louis, the words were lost. He just ran at Harry and clung to him.

Harry's natural response was to hold Louis, he held him tight and put his nose in the smaller ones hair. "You okay Lou?"

All the words he had practiced were gone. He no longer knew what to say. He just shock his head and mumbled a no.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"C-cant" was all Louis could respond with. He could hear Harry's heart beat racing. He could feel Harry's warm breath on his head. He could feel Harry's hands rubbing his back. He tried to say what he wanted, but couldn't, all he could say was "wh-y did you leave."

"I honestly don't know Lou, I thought it would help I really did, but I was wrong. I didn't know your life would start to crumble"

The tears started falling again. He cried into Harry's chest as Harry rubbed his back trying to calm him. "Please say you cheated, make it easier for me to move on, I, maybe then I won't want to come back"

Harry tried to ignore the end of what Louis said, bring it up later, he kissed Louis' head "I'm sorry Lou, I didn't cheat, I could never cheat... you wanna come back?" Louis nodded and cried even more unable to speak.

Harry lifted him off of the floor, Louis clung to Harry wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. Harry walked them to the sofa and sat down with Louis on his lap. He stroked through his hair and rubbed his back to calm Louis. When he was calm he tried again. "you wanna come back?"

Louis left his head on Harry's shoulder bringing in the smell of home. This way he could say more, "yeah."

"Like back back, not friends back"

"Back back, I mean, you don't" he sighed and moved as close as he could to Harry. "You can say no, you can tell me to get out, I don't need to be here"

"I don't want you to go, I should be the one begging you to come back, not you begging me"

"I've always been one for begging Harry" he could feel Harry's hands still rubbing his back but not going too low. "I feel like my life is getting worse. There's not a moment that goes by when I'm not high or drunk or both. I'm scared of what will happen to my sisters if I... Died. You're the only one that can help me and I know it. But you don't have to take me back, you can say you just wanna be friends, you can say you do want to talk to me anymore."

"I'm not gonna say any of those things. I do want you back. I want to help you get better, I want to have my blue back"

"So... Can we get back together?"

"If it won't make your drug and alcohol addiction stronger, yes."

"It won't! It might actually help it, the only reason I started was because everyone I loved kept leaving me, maybe with on of those people coming back I'll stop eventually."

"Eventually... I'm gonna make you stop, you won't be doing it on your birthday I can tell you that for sure"

"Harry, it's November 31st how am I going to stop in 25 days"

"Trust me, boo. You'll have stoped" Louis smile, a proper smile, he was the warmest he's ever felt, even with drugs in his system he felt sober, he felt safe for the first time all year. "We've gotta head back, wanna come back to mine?"

"Okay, but nothing-"

"I know Lou" he stood up holding Louis and kisses his cheek. They left before everyone, only being spotted by Anne and Lottie, and they both went to Harry's house in London.

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