Dr. Janice Rita. It'd been nearly three years since I'd been in this office, and it was safe to say not a darn thing had changed. Same blonde receptionist who wore pig tails what seemed like religiously. Same dusty finance and "psychology today" magazines sitting on the same black coffee table. It was a cozy little office, and I suppose given the mental state of most of its visitors, drastic change was frowned upon.
"Aiden Wares" All 5 foot 3 inches of Dr. Rita's small frame stepped through the door dividing the waiting area from the counseling rooms. She seemed relatively young for what her profession is. I always imagined Psychiatrist to be old men in sweater vests, or old women in pencil skirts. Not her though. She was maybe mid forty's, wore pants suits that resembled Hillary Clinton's, and had mid back length dark hair.
"Bet you thought you got rid of me, huh?" I forced myself to smile because I never really wanted to come back here. I swore I never would. Too many painful things were worked out between these four walls, but Jason was worth it. I had to do this for him, and most importantly, for me.
With my heart ready to beat out of my chest, I followed the Dr into an all too familiar room, furnished with a Victorian style chair, and a big comfy couch that even my skinny butt sunk into.
Dr. Rita flipped through what I'm sure were my old case notes. "So, are you back in town?" Her voice was friendly and curious. Not what you'd expect from a doctor, which made it easy to open up to her.
"Just for the week. I still live in Orlando, but I'm on vacation." I was already twiddling my fingers along the couch arm and struggling to make eye contact.
"Vacation? And you're spending time with me? I'm flattered!" Rita put her hand on her chest as if she was flabbergasted in delight.
I was thankful for the laughing moment. "Yea well, no offense, but I'd rather not be here."
The doctor sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. "But you found it important enough to come...so why don't we go into that?"
Nodding, I took a deep breath and prepared for what was to come. "Well, I met someone. Actually, if you can believe it, I'm dating someone."
"That's wonderful Aiden! I'm proud of you!" She'd heard about 100 times about how I'd never trust another person again. Repeatedly I'd swore I was plenty happy in my kitchen and watching my HGTV shows.
The band aid was starting to come off little by little over my heart. "Thanks. I am too but, I'm having a hard time with something. I know it relates to the attack, but I don't understand why."
The note page flipping stopped. "And I take it, that is why you're here? To find out why?"
"I'm happy to help, Aiden. Tell me more about this boyfriend."
She hadn't forgotten I was gay. Or it was in her notes. Either way, it made me feel better than I was ten seconds prior. See, it isn't exactly popular to be a gay man in Oklahoma... "His name is Jason, and I would literally wrangle the moon and stars for him if I could. But what I can't seem to do, is be honest about my attack. Or my scars."
"Hmmm" She tapped her chin with her mechanical pencil. "I'm guessing he has seen them. Correct?"
I again nodded, swallowing hard again out of nerves. "For a brief moment"
"What has he said about them? Do they seem to bother him?" She quizzed.
It was time to lay it all out. "Well, no. He's been very patient with me, but I know there's going to come a day he will get offended that I won't show him more. I can see the hope fade in his eyes every time I look like I'm going to take my shirt off and don't. See, he's not seen them for more than a few seconds... I froze the first time I actually took my shirt off and..." I was rambling and getting quite worked up when the Doctor spoke up.
YOU ARE READING
Scars and SouvenirsRomance
Aiden Wares is a 34 year old mailman currently residing in Orlando, but was born in Oklahoma. After the end of a relationship left him permanently scared inside and out, he soon after loses his father and decides on a fresh start with his sizable in...