My Heart Hates Me

Chapter 24 Now Or Never Again

Kirito sneezed and blew his nose with a tissue paper. "Seriously, why would go out in the rain after having a hot shower? You're so stupid!" Vivian pressed a wet towel on his forehead. He ignored her and dialed a number on his phone "Dad,"

"Sick again?"
"Yeah"
"You know, I think you're acting sick because you want to spend more time with your wife~"
"What the fuck are you saying?" He pressed his temples.

"So, when can I expect my grandchildren?"
"Never. Listen dad,"
"Yeah, I'll take over"
"Thanks"
"But the grandchildren--"

"Bye dad." Kirito hung up. Vivian made some chicken soup and brought it to the bed.
"Eat up"
"Idiot, I'm sick"
"I don't think the throat chokes when you're sick"
"No... F-..." Kirito looked at her. "F-...Fee- Fuck you, give it here!" He grabbed the bowl.
"Careful- It's hot!" The bowl slipped from his hand, she held the bowl.

"Leave it-- You'll burn yourself!" She shouted in German.
"Aren't you burning? It is equally hot for you"
"I'm used to it." She took the bowl away from him. He looked at her keep the bowl aside "Should I feed you?" She asked.

"I'm not a kid" He said
"Fine then," Vivian got up.
"Hey, you're not gonna ask again?"
"You want me to feed you?"
"No."
"Do you need something else?"
"No."
"Okay, I'll clean up the house. You rest for a while" Vivian walked towards the door.

'What do I want?' Kirito angrily lay on the bed while Vivian cleaned the place. He soon fell asleep and dreamt nightmares.

"Don't let me die, mom"
"I'm am not your mom!"
"Darating na siya!"
(Tn// He is coming!)

Kirito woke up suddenly and shouted  "Darating na siya!" He jumped out of the bed and ran towards the kitchen. Vivian heard his shriek and ran towards him from other end of the house. He looked at his reflection on the glass window and threw the chair on the window, shattering it to pieces. He held the knife in his hands and pressed his back on the wall of the kitchen.

"Kirito!" Vivian said.
"Don't come near me!" He held the knife in his hand and pointed it towards Vivian. His hands were shivering and his eyes were filled with fear. He was breathing irregularly.
"I won't, first keep that aside- Kirito-"

"Don't move!" He shouted as he shrivelled back. "He will kill me!! Kill me before he comes- Hurry up!" He shouted.
"Who will kill you?" Vivian asked as she stood before him "Who is it, Kirito?"
"Vivian, he killed ina! He will find us, Vivian, and he will give me the worst death! He will kill you too-- He will- He will-" Finally, he broke down and dropped the knife.

Vivian ran towards him and hugged him tightly. She patted his back gently "Oh Kirito. You need someone who'll listen to your every breath."
He pressed his head on her shoulders "I have been keeping secrets from you, right from the very start. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"It hurts"
"Why?"
"Because, you are hurt. Your cold eyes are crying. If only, I could embrace you with my tears, with my love. I want to wrap around you my touch, with my eyes. I'll protect you forever."

When he was calm again, she kept a cup of tea before him as he sat on the chair, in front of the dining table. She had already cleaned up the broken glass. She sat in front of him with a cup of tea.

"I usually get panic attacks" He looked at his reflection into the tea.
"What?"
"You were wondering about it, weren't you?" He asked.
"Yeah."
"I get panic attacks and then I become phobic to my reflections. Otherwise, I'm fine with mirrors and shiny surfaces but not during the  panic attack. Then it gets pretty bad-- something like what you saw today."