A New Kind of Love

A Lot of Nick

Nick's POV
~~~

Bianca was a good kisser. I had kissed her plenty of times. But Serenity was so much better. It was the way she kissed, like she was trying to tell me how she felt without speaking, that made it better. She used her lips to tell me what her words couldn't, and that was the best part of kissing her.

There was also how soft her lips were and how her hands brushed over my skin, making it burn, like she was made of fire. And the way she tangled her fingers in my hair. And how she wasn't soft and pliant against me, but demanding. And the way her body seemed to fit perfectly against mine, like a puzzle piece. And the way she tasted like apples and smelled like melted sugar. And the way her breath hitched in the back of her throat whenever I kissed her, like she was surprised. I could write a book about how much of a better kisser she was that Bianca.

Eventually, she stopped kissing me and fell asleep curled up next to me. I think she was asleep more than she was awake on most days. She breathed slow and steady and I watched her chest rise and fall. She looked younger when she slept, I suppose everyone did. But she looked peaceful, as if all the shit she carried around everyday just drifted away. I wanted to wake her up but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bear to wake her up and see the burden that came with being awake. So I ran my fingers gently through her hair, wishing it could go on forever.

A wave of guilt suddenly washed over me. It wasn't fair of me to do this to her. She deserved better. She'll probably want better after I tell her, I thought to myself. I didn't want to tell her, not because I was afraid she'd tell someone, but because I was scared to lose her. I had just gotten her, it wasn't fair to lose her so soon.

My own words floated through my head, "Life isn't fair." Screw you , Nick. Why'd you have to say that? But it was true, life wasn't fair. But Serenity was right too, you deal with it. Serenity wouldn't want to be with me once she knew the truth and I would deal with it. Probably very poorly.

I kept running over what I would say to her, how I would tell her. No way in hell this would be easy. It would hurt to see her walk away. It would hurt like hell. And I thought at first I could do it, just be friends with her, never touch her like this again. But I knew better now. I could never be just friends with her, it would hurt more than anything my dad had ever done.

I don't have to tell her now.

Yes you do. If you don't, it's the same thing as lying.

I'll tell her in one week. I'll have one week with her and that'll be it.

Good plan, Nick. Have one awesome week with her, then have it all be for nothing. I'm sure that will hurt less.

Shut up, Nick.

I knew the week would go by too fast, but one week with Serenity was better than nothing. The countdown started in my head: 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 53 seconds... 52... 51... 50.

~~~

"Earth to Nick!" Ariel's voice rang in my ears and I blinked up at her. I was sitting on the steps to the roof of the school, Ariel standing over me.

"What are you doing?" she asked. It was still Friday and Serenity was still asleep at my house.

"I'm sitting," I said flatly. Ariel rolled her eyes and pushed her glasses up.

"Obviously. But why? You're never here after lunch," she said, kicking my leg and sitting down next to me.

"I'm thinking... away from Serenity. She'd too distracting," I mumbled, not really talking to Ariel.