CHAPTER 1

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The giant alien came into the city with a serious attitude problem. Check it – four yellow watery eyes – ten drooping tentacles – and one hell of an appetite for destruction.

The blobby fiend left a trail of toxic pale green slime in its wake.

The acid ate through what was left of the cars and the road.

Screeching like there was no tomorrow – the alien coughed up a ball of slime. The gigantic spit bomb hit a group of running humans.

Screaming – their bodies slowly melted – arms wildly clawing the air. Within seconds – all that was left were a collection of skeletons turning to dust.

Total Badness In A Jar!

A number of helicopters and fighter jets streaked through the sky. Rows and rows of tanks thundered into the city – cannons raised.

Surrounding the creature from all sides and fighting as one – the ground troops and those in the air – all opened fire.

Missiles – shower of bullets after shower of bullets and everything in between were launched at the monster.

A couple of kitchen sinks even made a cameo.

Strapped with explosives – they were thrown in just to push the thought home.

The alien coughed up another ball of slime – sending it as a gift to the forces on the ground.

Three tanks close at hand had the pleasure of taking an acid bath. The slime made short work of the metal exterior before settling on the poor saps within.

A nice collection of agonized screams followed.

I couldn't stop smiling.

The remaining tanks backed away as the blobs turned into rapid fire shots. The toxic balls were coming down hard and fast on the battlefield.

One of the heavily armed helicopters swung in close.

An airborne spit ball hit the rotor blades.

The pilot lost control.

His helicopter crashed into another nearby chopper.

BOOM!

Picking up my popcorn – I started shoveling the buttery snack down.

The remaining helicopters let loose their machine guns.

In response – the alien opened its mouth – firing another blast of green gunk. The medium sized ball hit the front of another heavily armed helicopter.

The gooey substance ate the outer shell – dripping onto the control console.

Exposed – pilot number 2 struggled to pull out of the danger zone.

The alien spat out another gob – this one hitting the side of the helicopter.

Completely crapping his pants – the idiot started yelling into his walkie-talkie but it was too late.

Squealing like a stuck pig – his helicopter hit the ground and blew up.

Adios pal – wherever you're going – be it Heaven or Hell – don't bother sending a postcard.

Doesn't get any better than this.

Check it – underground laboratory – mad scientist with a love for whipped cream and toffee pudding – forbidden experiment – giant monster made from alien DNA and an outlawed chemical substance – various armed forces fighting side by side against a common enemy – city wide destruction – death – and all set to a rocking low key 80s style synthesizer paranoia soundtrack.

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