Childhood Lovers

Childhood Lovers. 22

Standing in front of the restaurant, I took a deep breath, trying to suppress my nausea

“It’s going to be fine, he’ll understand,” Carmen said, trying to comfort me. “Take your time.”

Watching her head into the restaurant, I tried to reassure myself a few more times. When I was somewhat ready, I scrambled in and searched for Tyler. Sitting at his regular stool at the bar, he hung over his drink, tracing the rim with his fingers.

“Hey,” I said, sliding onto the stool next to him.

“Hey,” he said, slightly surprised to see me. “How . . . um are you?”

“I’m better,” I said, reviewing my unstable mentality of last night. “How are you doing?”

“Not so well. Since last night, I’ve felt incredibly guilty. And today’s fight with Chase didn’t help much either,” he said, staring into his glass.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that…and everything. It was my fault, and you shouldn’t take the blame for any of it. Actually, I should thank you, because you were the one who stopped it, and helped me realize what I was doing was wrong.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help,” he said, with a gloomy melancholy tone.

“Tyler, you’re a great guy, but unfortunately I don’t think we can be friends,” I whispered, my voice quivering. “Believe me, I want to be, but after last night, Chase doesn’t trust me. The only way I can imagine earning his trust back is by ending all connections with you . . . at least for the time being, until things blow over.”

Tyler looked up from his glass, and widens his eyes at me, in utter shock.

“That’s the only way?”

Nodding, I bit down on my lip and tried to fight the tears that were welling in my eyes.

“I’m sorry it has to come to this, because I really like being friends with you, but I see no other options, and I can’t bear to lose Chase.”

Tyler paused before saying, “I understand.”

Those two words were enough for me to lose it. “Are you mad? Please don’t be mad! God, I hate this! Because I do care about you - just not in the romantic way. And I wish I could have it both ways; I could keep Chase as my boyfriend and keep you as my guy friend! But I can’t, so I feel like I’m bearing torn into two parts, being forced to choose!”

By this point, the tears had overcome my attempts and started streaming down my face. Why this made my so emotional, I’ll never know, but something told me that this situation meant something to me. Just because I wasn’t interested Tyler, didn’t mean he wasn’t important in my life.

“Hey, hey,” Tyler said, jumping up from his seat. He pulled me up to my feet and clasped my hands. “You don’t have to choose.”

“I don’t?” I looked up at him, puzzled.

He wiped my tear-stained cheek. “No, this may be the only option, but there are ways around it. Like, we could keep our friendship a secret.”

Taking a few minutes, I considered this. If we kept our friendship on the down low, I could lie to Chase and say I cut off all connection with Tyler.

“No way . . . no, no,” I shook my head, suddenly rejecting the idea. “I couldn’t do that to Chase. I can’t lie or betray him again.”

“Okay, okay, I know. It was just a thought.”

“I know, it was a good suggestion,” I replied. “But I don’t think I could ever do that. It wouldn’t be right . . . hey, aren’t you the guy whose supposed to help me do the right thing?”