What If?

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It was spring break again. I had a routine going on now, Sundays were spent on the beach, but mostly by myself, Jacob was busy all the time. When he did spend time with me, he looked tired and worn out, and he constantly apologized for ditching me. I told him to take a break, but he always says "Not until Victoria is caught."

Whenever we walked down the beach, he held my hand. It made me think what if? But then I shook that thought out of my head. I didn't think I was ready for another relationship anytime soon. 

Whenever I was at work with Mike he constantly bombarded me with questions about Jake. I told him that Jake was my best friend and nothing else but the same thought kept running through my mind what if?

Sam and Emily came over with Charlie and I for dessert at Billys . Emily brought a cake that looked like it belonged in the pages of a Martha Stewart magazine. When everyone was almost done eating, Jake and I left early for some privacy. We went into the garage and sat in his Rabbit. He yawned a few times.

 "Jake you need to rest" he yawned again 

"ya ya soon" he reached over and took my hand. His skin was so hot against mine, and the darkness of it always made my skin look even more pale in comparison. 

"Is that another one if your wolf things, the hot skin?"

"Ya we are about 108 or 109 "

"And you guys heal fast too?"

He gives me a grin 

"Ya its actually pretty cool wanna see!"

He pulls out a pocket knife

"Jake stop! What the hell is wrong with you?"

He smiles. "Ok jeez calm down"

He sticks the pocket knife back in his pocket. 

"So how does it happen... the change. Does it happen with age, or does it just happen?"

His face gets serious 

"There's not really an age, it just builds and builds and then.." He trails off.

 He begins again 

"The weird thing was, I wasn't mad at all I was happy because of you"

 He looks over at me and I try not to blush. 

"Are you O.K. Jake? Are you sad.." 

He looks over at me and his eyes grow serious.

"No, not anymore, I was before, but it's better now that you know..." he squeezes my hand. 

Then the same thought goes through my mind, 

what if...

"We should do something tomorrow Bella." Jake suggests.

"Ya, that's fine."

"Whats up Bells? what are you thinking about?" He shakes my shoulder slightly. 

"Nothing... Just tired, I should get going."

"O.K. Meet me here tomorrow and I'll take you cliff diving like you wanted ok?

"O.K" 

I give him a hug and drive home, Charlie wanted to stay later and hang out with Billy. I climb into bed and doze off with the same thought in my mind. What if?

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