𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞 → 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬 (𝐢𝐢)

forty-five [s]

wednesday,
july 10th, 2020

SHAWN MENDES

"Wh-what?" I splutter, the tears already uncontrollably streaming down my face and blurring my vision and my heart nearly stops but I don't care.

She loves me. She loves me. She's in love with me!

"Did I hear you right?" I sniffle, squeezing her tightly, "You said that, right? You told me that you... that you..."

"That I love you?" Trin giggles amid her flowing tears, "Yes, baby, I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you and I can't stop myself from falling deeper in love with you every day of my life. Every fibre of my being adores you, Shawn Mendes."

A sob wracks my shoulders and I bring my hands to my face to cover my tear-stained cheeks and eyes. I hear a pitiful "honey" come from my girl's lips but I just shake my head. I can't stop myself from absolutely bawling my eyes out. Multiple sobs crash through me and shake my shoulders.

I can't quite believe she's in love with me.

"Shawn," I hear her soothe, rearranging herself so that she's straddling me. She hugs me, "Shawn, my love, it's okay. Stop crying."

An ugly sound escapes my mouth as her hands wrap around my wrists, gently trying to pry my hands away from my face.

I'm sitting here naked and absolutely sobbing in front of the woman of my dreams and I feel so fucking vulnerable and I even think I'll collapse at one point because I just can't seem to stop crying. But that's okay. Because she loves me.

"Hey, look at me," Trinity pleads, pulling my hands down and I let her hold them whilst I blink away some threatening tears, "Why are you crying, love?"

"B-because I love you," I reply, voice raspy and clogged but Trin only smiles.

"I know you do. I love you too, Shawn. So much," she whispers genuinely, cupping my face and wiping away my stray tears, "Don't cry, my baby."

Finally, I find the strength to engulf her in a tight, emotion-ridden embrace. Her chin nestles in the curls atop my head and I stuff my face in her neck. No doubt my tears are soaking her skin, but she doesn't complain. She just holds me and rubs my back and lets me cry. And I do cry. I let it all out into the comfort of her neck and she presses the odd kiss to my temple every now and then.

"I wasn't expecting you—," I hiccup, "to say that tonight."

"I never stopped loving you," she admits, pulling another cry from my throat, "I just wanted to wait before I let myself open up again. I'm sorry I made you wait."

"No!" I insist, pulling my head from her neck, "No, don't apologise. Remember when I made you wait? I deserved this," I weakly chuckle as she wipes my face dry, "I'm so happy you told me. I would've waited forever, but to know you still feel the same way is... phenomenal."

We sit there holding one another until my breathing regulates and the waterworks stop. She grabs her jumper from the floor and uses the soft sleeve to gently dry my face off from the remaining tears.

"Can we stay here a while?" I ask her, "I don't feel like driving right now. I just wanna hold you."

Trin smiles at me, "Of course. If you want me to drive later, I will."

"I think there's a blanket in the trunk," I remember, gently setting her aside and reaching behind the seats to grab the checkered, faux fur blanket.

I also unhook the latch behind the seats so that we can push them flat down. I do so, creating a larger space for us to get comfy. I spread out the blanket and notice that Trinity's shivering. I grab my sweater from the floor, handing it to her and smiling when she flushes crimson.