Bloom

57. everything is enough

Haven

Swallowing away my tears, I stretched out my hand to him, feeling how he accepted it with a firm grip. I pulled him up- he almost lost his balance. Blood was gushing out of his lip, his cheekbone was bright red, the skin around his eyebrow was cut.

"Zeph.." I repeated, for once feeling so discouraged, so helpless. All I had tried for him was to feel at ease, to feel completely okay about his autism because it was okay. Tried for him to trust, to let him know not every person was that miserable as some people, sadly, were.

Though, this whole situation had proved everything against it. We were back at square one, and I didn't know if I would be able to save him too, this time. How could he still have faith in humanity after this? After everything he had already been through? That, I didn't know.

Tightly holding onto his hand, I pushed my way back inside, through the mass of sweaty people but stopped when Tara stood in front of us. "What happened?" Her features were laced with concern, but I was exhausted. I couldn't do it anymore.

I stared at her, for moments long, then pushed past her and took Zephaniah with me over to the restrooms. Entering, I ignored the girls that eyed us, gushing over Zephaniah until they saw his face. I locked the both of us in one of the toilets, lowering the lid so he could sit down on it.

He did and reached for the toilet paper, but I held him back. "Let me help you." I said softly, looking into his eyes. His right eye watered uncontrollably, but it was the one near his red cheekbone. Luke had hit him, hard. And Zephaniah had yet so say a word.

I was afraid, I didn't know if he was in a shutdown or not, but since he was responsive, even when it was without words, I didn't think he was.

"Are you here with me?" I wondered, my eyes trailing down his bruised and bleeding face.

"Pretty sure I am." Zephaniah mumbled, the left corner of his mouth curling lightly. "Unless I'm dreaming, I- I feel dizzy, though."

"No wonder." I said sadly, tugging at the roll of toilet paper to get some off. Folding it, I dabbed it against his bleeding lip. Zephaniah squeezed his eyes closed in response- he was in pain. "I'm so sorry, Zeph. I'm so sorry." I breathed out, a quiet whimper leaving his parted lips.

He blinked his eyes open, glancing at me. "Is okay, Have."

"But it's not." Tears managed to escape from my eyes, them dripping down onto Zephaniah's trousers as I was hovered over him, lightly tilting his face as his chin was between my fingers. I felt his warm breath on my skin, making it feel warm but tingly at the same time. I was aware of our closeness right now- I wasn't sure if he was.

My eyes roamed over his face, them resting when they stared into his eyes again. Zephaniah's eyes flickered away, he stared at something that was beside me. Sighing sadly, I continued to wipe off blood, Zephaniah holding some toilet paper against the cut in his lip himself. I wondered what was going through his head right now.

He was so calm. So extremely calm that it scared me. Had he given up?

"Have? Are you in here?" Ittarah. It was definitely Ittarah. I glanced at Zephaniah, he was already looking up at me. I didn't answer, I was furious.

"You can go." Zephaniah whispered, his eyes looking bigger now that he was looking up. The strange, bright light reflected in his mystifying green colour. "I promise."

"I can't leave you now, Zeph. Look at you.." Tears dripped down again, never had I ever felt this emotional before. I couldn't really understand myself- I had always been the optimistic, positive girl, but now, at this very moment it had all faded, like the mist when the sun would wake up from the dark night.