Eunoia

brusque: rudely abrupt or blunt in speech or manner

I still remember when I transferred to Avonlea High in my freshman year. I was so excited to be in a new school, with new friends, and new opportunities. Gilbert was sweet to me at first; he helped me with my social studies and math schoolwork, and I helped him with his English work. I didn't know that Ruby had a crush on him, so I just went about my first few days with Gilbert. It was nice. I had a friend.

Josie was kind of the "leader" of the group I now call my friends. It's so much different now, but back then, she gave me a choice. I could be friends with her and the rest of them and never speak to Gilbert again, or continue what I was doing and be hated for the next four years of my life. I was naive and chose the first option. I had just come from the traumatizing orphanage and was hated there too. I didn't want that for my new, fresh start so I dropped Gilbert. He looked so hurt when I told him we weren't friends, but I wasn't expecting him to turn angry, come up to me, yank my braid and call me "carrots!" before walking away. I felt humiliated.

Gilbert changed after that year. His grades never dropped, but his attitude did. He was with a new girl every week, and he flaunted that. We spoke to each other in insults. Never cordial. Now, in our senior year, we're basically stuck together. Three out of four classes together, two of which we have to sit next to one another. I kept that petty grudge up against him, even though I don't think he remembers saying it. I don't care. I remember. I remember every time I look in the mirror.

First period, English. This is one of the classes that I sit next to Gilbert in. And I'm fuming about it. I tried to ask Marilla if I could stay home today because I didn't even want to look at him. When I walked into the dreaded class, there he is. Smirking. Guess he was sober enough to remember Friday night.

I refused to speak to him for the entire class. He tried to pass notes, steal glances, and bump me with his elbow on purpose. I moved my chair as far away from the conjoined desk as possible, so much so that I was teetering on the edge.

"Is your desire for me so deep that the only way you can concentrate is to make some distance?" He whispers into my ear. I smack his face away and get back to the lesson. "Come on Shirley...you want me. You need me. All you gotta do is say it."

"I hate you, Gilbert Blythe. Get away from me so I can focus."

"Sure you do. I'll be here...waiting." I look up to see that his stupid grin is back.

"Wait there as long as you want to, I don't talk to man whores."

He scoffed and folded his arms, muttering to himself, "I'm not a whore."

"You're not much of a man either," I quipped back.

I haven't spoken to Ruby today. If she knew all of the things Gilbert was saying to me, she'd flip. I mean, after last Tuesday's talk, she's been a little more cautious with how she talks about Gilbert, but I know how hard it could be to give up a crush after that long. She's obsessed over him for years.

During Mr. Phillips' lecture, I could feel Gilbert eyeing me. I sat and tried to ignore it for as long as possible, but he was persistent in annoying me. I turned around and glared at Gilbert and mouthed "STOP". In response, all he did is wink and bite his lip. It took me everything I had to not dry heave. 

"Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe! Why aren't you paying attention to the lesson?" We both turn to look at Mr. Phillips...neither one of us knowing what to say. "You know what, I don't want to hear it. Both of you. Hallway for the rest of the class."

We walked into the hallway with our stuff. As I'm getting everything situated for my study time out here, trying not to lose my cool, Gilbert stood over me while staring at me.

"What do you want, Blythe?" I snapped.

"Stand up."

"Why?"

He put a hand out for me, "I wanna ask you something."

I scoffed and stood up on my own, "What?"

He stood just a few inches away from me and it made me nervous. My breathing was totally irregular and my stomach was twisting into knots. I didn't know why, so I just blamed it on my hatred for him.

"What did I do to you, Shirley? Why do you hate me?" he seemed genuine for the first time in his life. No jokes, no games. I was shocked at his change in tone.

"I really don't--"

"No, Anne. Now is the right time to talk about this."

I sighed. I really don't want to bring this memory up, but if it's gonna fix this, I'll do it. So, I told him everything. I even tell him the part about Ruby liking him for so long.

He smiled when I brought up the cheery girl, "I knew about Ruby."

"You knew?!"

"For years, actually. I never reciprocated those feelings, but I didn't want to hurt her. Ruby's been a good friend of mine for as long as I can remember."

"Gilbert...the girl loves you. At least tell her how you feel. It'll be easier coming from you."I watched his expression change from a soft smile to a frown, "You're right. And I also want to apologize for calling you a carrot. It was stupid, and not true. Your hair doesn't resemble anything close to a carrot. I only said it because you really hurt me and I was angry."

"How did I hurt you? By not being your friend?"

"Anne, I really liked you. You were the first girl I liked in that way," my eyes widened at his answer. Gilbert Blythe had a crush on me?

 "I wanted to ask you out, but you broke us off before I could even ask. All because you wanted to be friends with Josie and her group," he shook his head and looked defeated, "I never knew why you chose popularity over a real friendship."

"It wasn't like that. I was naive. But you became popular too...why?"

He looked into my eyes with something I couldn't quite describe, "People said I had charm. I thought I could use that charm on girls to make you jealous," he shook his head, "It was stupid of me to think that, but I liked the attention. Frankly, I still do." 

I raised my eyebrows, "That's...wow. I really don't know what to say."

He cracked a smirk, "You can start by calling me a man whore again. That was funny."

I laughed, "More like fuckboy. You need more character development to be considered a man whore."

He laughed with me and I relished in that.

"It's been so long since we've done that," I commented.

"Laughing together? Yeah, I guess so."

It went quiet for a second before he hesitantly asked, "Do you still hate me? Am I forgiven?" he looked at me desperately. I was about to answer before I thought about something I've been wanting to do for a while now.

"Can I do something before I answer that?"

"Sure. What is it?"

I grabbed my math binder and walked up to Gilbert who had moved so he was sitting against the lockers. He looked perplexed as I grinned.

"Shirley, what are--"

THWACK!!!

"I forgive you."

..........................................................

A/N

Three chapters in one night! Woo! My fingers are bruised and I'm tired, but I'm elated because I finally started a story. Please, tell me if you like it! Do something--vote, comment, I don't care. 

Thank you for reading!

<3