Submitting to Something New ( Complete)

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TOBIAS

" I'm pregnant" I hear as I hold Tris and run my fingers through her hair.

I stop and pull away as I panic.

I can't be a father, i'll just ruin this child's life like Marcus did mine. This can't happen.
I've had a shit day, Eric breathing down my neck at every turn & questioning every move I make & I just can't deal with this right now.

My anger of the day suddenly intensifies without warning & Tris is about to bare the brunt of it & I can't control it.

I yell at her for being stupid & selfish,  how could she let this happen?!  There is so many things I wanted us to experience before we even thought about starting a family, if ever.

I feel all self control leaving me as I yell at her, the tension of the day forcing itself out and directing towards Tris.

I stomp out of the apartment and slam the door, hoping Tris would know not to follow me.

I storm down the hall with my fists clenched and I'm sure the look on my face will be enough to warn others to steer clear of me right now.
As I turn the corner, Joel and some dauntless borns head in my direction.

'perfect' i think to myself.

As they near closer, Joel has a smirk on his face as he heads directly for me, probably expecting me to move out if his way but I keep my course as I move towards him.
Without thinking, as he pushes his shoulder into mine as he passes, I grab him, pick him up and slam him to the ground and start punching. My fists hitting the same spot on his head repeatedly. I can see he has stopped moving, clearly passed out from the continuous blows but I can't stop, the dauntless borns back away slowly and leave Joel to take what's coming to him. Perks of being well respected I guess.

I feel strong hands pulling me back as I continue hitting Joel, his blood splattering my hands and his face now.
I stop and turn to swing at whoever is behind me but stop short when I see who it was.

Zeke pulls me back and drags me to his apartment with a word. As we enter, he closes the door behind us and stands guard, arms crossed, probably thinking I will try to run to continue my rage filled rampage on any unsuspecting person I come across.

"Care to explain what that was about Four? You've probably near on killed him. Sometimes I think you forget your own strength" he says sternly, his arms still crossed and him standing firm in front of the door.

I run my hands down my face and let out a loud sigh to try and calm some before I respond.
"Tris is pregnant" is all I can force out.
The venom of my tone letting Zeke know, I don't wanna talk about it.

His eyes grow wide and his mouth hangs open in shock.

"Shit Four, you dawg!!" He says with a smile, trying to lighten the mood but quickly realised it's not gonna work.

" Can I crash in your spare room tonight, I just can't face her yet" I ask .

" You're always welcome here bro. You know where everything is. I'm meeting Shauna down at the bar. You're welcome to join if you are up to it, or not.
I'll see ya  later"  he says as he walks out the door, closing it softly.

I trudge to the spare room and drop in the bed and fall asleep but I'm restless, thinking about how I'm gonna face Tris & this ' situation'.

I can't be a Dad, I'll hurt them like he hurt me, I'm just like him. I can't ever out a child through that.

                  ************************

I wake and decide I should head home. Tris probably isn't up yet, so at least I can gather my thoughts before I face her.