home ; chapter five - curious

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"Bakit ang tagal mong makabalik? Akala ko kung napano ka na, eh," sabi ni Lay, nang makabalik na ako sa SM Ent.

Kasama niya pa si Chanyeol sa loob ng practice room, kung saan niya sinabi na magpunta ako after ko sa coffee shop. Why here? I didn't know.

"Ang haba kasi ng pila, e. Hindi ko rin alam kung saan na ako nakarating kaya naligaw ako pabalik. Hindi na ako nakabili nung bibilhin ko," pagdadahilan ko, and Lay nodded.

He patted the spot next to him on the floor, kaya naman ay nag-aalinlangan akong umupo dun. Magkaibigan naman kami kaya walang masama kung maging close ko siya, hindi ba?

Nagkatinginan kami ni Chanyeol, and then he gave me a smile so I returned it.

"Miss Freya, diba ikaw yung isa sa songwriters namin?" Sabi ni Chanyeol, and I nodded.

"Ako nga." Sagot ko, and then he nodded at saka tumingin kay Lay.

"That's great, then. I'm surprised na si Lay, kaibigan mo pala. Among us, iniisip ko na baka si Suho ang maging kaibigan mo pero... siya pala hahahaha," sabi ni Chanyeol, at saka naman siya tinignan ni Lay na akala mo ay naiinis na natatawa.

"It just happened. Anyway, don't ask anymore questions. Ako naman ang magtatanong. Bakit niyo ako pinapunta dito?" Tanong ko, and then tinignan naman ni Chanyeol si Lay so I shifted my attention to the Chinese.

He gulped, at saka nag umpisang tignan ang mga daliri niya. Ano bang nais niyang mangyari?

"Hindi ka magagalit sa akin?" Tanong ni Lay, and I furrowed my brows.

"Mas magagalit ako sayo kung hindi mo sabihin ang dahilan ng ikagagalit ko. Ano ba yun?" Tanong ko, and Chanyeol chuckled.

"I was wondering how your voice sounded like singing this song I tried writing. Like... pwede bang samahan mo kami ni Chanyeol sa studio ko at papakinggan kitang kantahin ang kanta na isinulat ko?" Tanong ni Lay, and I was surprised.

Ako? Pakakantahin niya ng kanta na hindi ako ang sumulat, at hindi bilang isang demo? Bakit ako papayag?

"Alam ko iniisip mo na ang pagtanggi, pero please? Gusto ko lang marinig kung babagay ba," sabi ni Lay, and I sighed. "I'm just curious."

"You can't send it to anyone else," sabi ko, and then he grinned as he nodded.

"Yes! Chanyeol, tara na. Freya? Tara," sabi ni Lay, at saka dali dali siyang tumayo.

Wala naman kaming nagawa kundi ang sumunod sa kanya dahil mukhang excited pa siya. He looked like a little kid getting excited because his parents are going to surprise him about something.

Pagkalabas namin dun ay nilead niya kami sa sarili niyang studio, only to be met with Baekhyun waiting by the door.




"Antagal ko kayong hinihintay. Sabi ko na nga ba may mangyayaring pagkalate e," sabi ni Baekhyun, as he narrowed his eyes at Lay and Chanyeol.

Nang mapansin naman niya ako ay nagulat siya, napataas ang mga kilay. He blinked, and then gestured to me as he looked at Lay and Chanyeol.

"Yes. That's Freya. One of our major composers." Sabi ni Lay, and I sighed.

"Oh? Hello, Freya! Wait, you kind of look like... never mind. You probably don't think so. Tara na sa loob?" Sabi ni Baekhyun, at nagtaka naman ako.

Sino yung sasabihin niya? Sino yung sinasabi niya na kamukha ko raw? Bakit pakiramdam ko ay importante?

Pumasok na kami sa studio ni Lay, at agad naman na iniabot sa akin ang sheet niya. Nandun ang notes at ang lyrics, kaya naman ay kinakabahan akong pumunta sa recording side nung studio.

I put on the headphones, and then shakily breathed in and out while closing my eyes. Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko ay binasa ko na ang lyrics na nakalagay sa sheet niya.

Curious
By Lay Zhang

Sometimes I think about
Whether I stand a chance
Or will I end with a pout
Not to ever have this dance
Is this going south
What are your plans?

Baby, I'm so curious
Will you love me if I love you?
Love is, sometimes, so devious
Will I hear your "I love you"?
Baby, I'm so curious
Will I ever have you?

I started thinking. Anong meron at naisulat niya ang kantang ito? Nararamdaman ba niya ito o sadyang senaryo lang na pumasok sa isipan niya?

I sighed, bago narinig ang boses ni Lay sa kabila.

"Hey, Freya, are you ready? Are the lyrics fine?" Tanong niya, and I smiled and then nodded.

"Yeah. It's good, too," sabi ko, and then the music started.




Nang matapos kong kantahin ang kanta ay tinanggal ko ang headphones, and then rejoined them three. Pagkarating ko dun ay nagpalakpakan naman sila. Nahiya ako, dahil pakiramdam ko ay nabawasan nanaman ang mga shield na itinatakip ko sa sarili ko. I feel exposed, for some reason.

"Wow, ang ganda! Bagay sayo!" Sabi ni Baekhyun, at tumango naman si Chanyeol.

Tinignan ko naman si Lay dahil hindi pa siya nagsasalita, only to see him staring at me as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Lay?" Tawag ko, and then nagising naman siya at saka nginitian ako.

"That was great. B-Bagay na bagay sa boses mo. You sang like an angel," sabi ni Lay, at nginisian naman siya ni Chanyeol.

"Alam mo, kaboses mo medyo si Marione," sabi ni Baekhyun, and I widened my eyes.

Marione. Marione.

Agad naman na pumasok sa isipan ko ang isang babaeng nagngangalan na Marione sa buhay ko.

My half sister. Naaalala pa kaya niya ako? I know she's somewhere in the industry, but I am scared na baka sa oras na lumipas, sa mga taon na yun, hindi na niya ako naaalala.

Of all people, she was the first one to understand me. She was the first one to ever know what it feels like to be me. She made me feel like I had a best friend, like I had a sister. She was everything I had when I didn't have anyone to call family.

She was always there.

But now, I don't know. Hindi ko na alam kung kilala pa niya ako o hindi.

"Uy? Freya? Ayos ka lang?" Tanong ni Baekhyun sa akin, and I gave him a smile after shaking my head rapidly.

"Wala 'to. I was just..." I said, "Curious."

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