She's spriting up her stairs, stumbling on the occasional steps, too many tears clogging up her vision. She races into the hall and jolts to a halt. Should she go to her room pull out a knife and slash away? Or just end it all right here, right now? Hmmm maybe both. She heads to the direction of her room walking into the room, flooded with natural light from her windows, well that would have to end wouldn't it? She runs over to her window's and crashes the blinds shut, the rattling of the plastic rings creating an echo through the empty house.
She must've been sitting there for over an hour before she decides to move. She pulls The Box out from under her bed. It's small and blue, with decorative angels onthe side of it, it's beautiful, unlike its contents. She pulls out the four items from inside. The first is the fancy gothic style blade she uses to inflict her self harm, she sets it on the floor next to her. The second is a picture of her and Mark when they were 3, it's too precious to her to keep on display. The third is a locket Mark gave her for her 7th birthday, she's too embarrassed to wear it. In case Mark notices and she has to explain why she stills has 'that old thing', but mostly for the fear he won't remember he gave it to her.
The next and final object is a picture of her and her family. It used to be her familys' favourite shot until it went 'mysteriously' missing. It's been sabotaged now, scratches over her mother's, father's and even her own face. Before she found self harm this was the way she used to deal with her pain. She sets all the items except the blade back into the box and then she swiftly slides it back under her bed. She slides her skirt up to her hip exposing the scars already marked on her leg.
She tries to look for a place to cut, but her whole left leg down to her hemlineis covered inthe physical proof of her pain. She tries to cut her right leg, but she can't bring herself to do it, she wants at least one leg to look nice. Well, there's always her wrist, but she never wanted to cut there. I mean that's the first place anyone would look for scars, but then again, who would care enough to look anyway?
So she decides. She moves the blade over her arm, like a bow over a violin.This pain feels. . . Different. It's less intense yet hurts more, Caitlyn likes it. 3 cuts later she feels much better, but not good enough to live. Now, there was just one more question before the big finale, how should she die? Maybe dramatically, or keep a low profile? What shall she use? A knife, overdose, jump, drown or...A gun?
She stands up and kicks her blade under her bed, she won't be needing it after this anyway. She walks patiently and bravely to her parents room. Now where did her father keep his gun? She searched for 2 whole hours, Caitlyn's extremely determined. Finally she found it, in his scok draw, why didn't she look there first? She feels stupid, well that's the most obvious place to hide things!
She checks the gun, loaded. She takes off the safety switch thing, whatever all those gun guys want to call it. She slowly brings the gun up the her temple, turning to her parents full lenght mirror, well doesn't this scene look all-too-familiar. A girl who loves a boy who loves someone else, so she wants to kill herself. So cliché, yet it feels different when it actually happens to you. Her hand is shaking maybe this wasn't a good idea after all? Actually it's one of the worst ideas she's ever had!
She runs to her dad's draw, drops the gun in, then races down the stairs. Attempting to get away fro the setting of the scene that just occured. Was she actually crazy? Killing herself. Over a boy, she practically just wasted 3 hours of her life, which she'll never get back, obsessing over Mark. Who, now she thinks about it, doesn't seem to like her, and when she thinks harder she's not really sure if she even likes him.
A knock at the door breaks her daze, that was close.
YOU ARE READING
Save My LifeTeen Fiction
Caitlyn loves her bestfriend Mark, too bad he loves Barbie Doll, also known as Talia. Her parents have practically abandonded her and everyone hates her. The wounds from her life aren't only on her heart.