The Top 10 Problems Introverts Face

Chapter 5 - Problem 5: Judgement

Felt like people were judging you from hearing rude things behind your back because you take your time to gather ideas? Or get called “rude” when you decline big parties or Friday hangouts with friends?

Those who are judging these actions are just extroverts. The things you get judged on? It’s normal.

The following chapter will talk about the top actions introverts get judged on, and how you can deal with them.

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Section 1: Buckets of Jugement

Forward: It is proven that 70% of people who are sensitive are introverts. This states that comments towards introverts can influence their feelings and moods strongly. Introverts are judged a lot due to their different behaviors and thoughts. Similar to chapter 4, the following pages will discuss some common things that introverts get judged on and how we can deal with them.

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As Susan Cain tells us: 

“Shyness is about fear of social judgment”

As mentioned in chapter 4, people have commonly mistaken introversion for shyness, which isn’t the case.

Due to the amounts of judgment introverts get, some believe that because of their personality they find it hard to express joy or happiness and are always finding themselves anxious, worried or depressed. Again, that’s not the case. The habits that you are doing that cause people to think these ways are normal, don’t change your personality to the way society wants you to behave. I’ve said this several times, but the world really does need both introverts as much as extroverts.

I talked to one teacher at school and she explained to me how judgment was definitely one problem she faced. She talked about how many people come across introverts as people who are shy, judging or withheld. Then she discussed how this implied the most when you're apart of a team of extroverted people and they don't necessarily understand the introvert personality. They look at them as someone who is too quiet and is not expressing their feelings or opinions enough. They might misunderstand that the introverts are people who sit back and are making judgments or are being snobby and nasty when they are not. Sometimes you need to point that out to people until they finally understand the reason why the introvert was being quiet. Most extroverts don’t give the time the introverts need to think. At the same time, she does tell me  point that a team needs all different personalities. 

“If it's a team of introverts I wouldn't see how it would work and if it was a team full of extroverts I don't see how that would work either”

People need to understand that balance plays an important role when it comes to these sorts of situations.

Introverts feel judged the most when they are sitting for a job or college interview; worrying about what the boss or educator has to say or thinks about them. However, before you sit for that interview, think:

Is this the right place for me? 

Is this my core?

Never fear because Susan Cain is here. She has given us the three basic steps on how to choose your core job.

1. What do you love?

First, choose something that you really love and have a strong, passionate desire for. Remember back in chapter 1 where we learned about motivation? As introverts, we will work harder and with more quality when it comes to dealing with things we love and desire.

2. What work do you enjoy?

Second, pay attention to the work you enjoy doing and work that you are “attracted too”. Introverts usually come across as passionate people for the things they really enjoy doing. Taking what you love and what work you enjoy doing will produce the perfect core job for you.

3. What makes you jealous?

Third and most final, pay attention to what makes you jealous. This is required because introverts will fight long and hard for what they want. This step is required especially for university students. Taking what or who makes you jealous will motivate you to work even harder, boosting productivity and your chances of getting that job or university.

Now that we are set for the right job and university, it’s time for the interview – this is where the real judgment comes in. When you are giving your reasons why you should get the job or the acceptance into the college, forget about what the person in front of you is thinking. Speak passionately about why you love the job, the work it comes with and how hard you are going to work. Don’t speak in a way or tone that somewhat seems desperate, be calm, cool, and collected. It may also help to recite what you’re going to say at your interview beforehand.

Congratulations! You got the job. Your boss seems to like you and your hard work but what about your colleagues? When in a meeting or committee with them, one way to avoid harsh judgment is to be slightly out of character but still stay true to yourself; engage a bit here and there. Also, choose wisely where you sit and when you speak. Choosing a seat can dominate your position in a meeting, for example sitting in the middle or the very front will give you the look of leading the meeting or the permission to talk the most. 

Many workplaces and universities have committee parties or social gatherings. Balance times for socializing as well as time for yourself. Go to some every known and then but, turn down a few so you can get time to recharge your batteries. This keeps you both healthy and away from harsh judgments.

Overall, never let the judgment get to you because of the certain actions you take. At the same time, show your colleagues and boss at work that you care by continually being motivated in your work, giving the best you can in meetings and attending a few social gatherings every once in awhile.