Chapter 33 ~ Zayn

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Chapter 33 ― Zayn

Lucas was a nice lad and it was obvious he totally loved Phebs. The way he treated her put that very clear and when they were together… well, it was like in a movie when the couple was finally together. He was fun and easy-going and in a matter of minutes, he got the approval of everyone. Liam was the one who looked the happiest about the whole thing, finally having a face for a name. My band mate really cared about Phebs and he wanted the best for the blonde girl, and he knew Lucas was the best.

It was great to have some time with friends after weeks when we barely saw each other. The girls started Uni again and we were busy promoting our new single, with interviews, photoshoot sessions and little performances, it was really hard to find time to get all together like that day.

Nevertheless, Mila and I always found a way to see each other during the past few weeks, even for a little while and things between us were going more than great. I was crazy about her and everything seemed perfect in my life. I was happy, completely happy. Nothing was awkward with Alex anymore and our friendship was finally restored.

A relationship with Mila was easier than I ever thought. We kept it secret for obvious reasons, though. She never cared about my fame and she was always so thoughtful. She gave me my space and always told me that I had to have a life without her, as well. She always told me that I was a part of her life, not her whole life and that it had to be the same in my case.

She wasn’t clingy. She was funny. She wasn’t needy. She was just great.

We had our fights sometimes when we couldn’t agree on something. Sometimes it was because I was too jealous, but how couldn’t I? She started showing me pictures of Rob Pattinson, or Channing Tatum and Tom Hiddleston… how could I compete against those? And she always told me about how much she loved them, oblivious to the effect of those words on me. But later we talked about it and apologise if we were wrong. Making up after a fight was always the best part.

Once we had a fight because I couldn’t understand her point of view. And still now it was rather hard to comprehend, and it was about her writing. I told her I could help her to get published, sure with my fame and contacts I could get a deal for her with a publisher, but she refused plainly.

“I don’t wanna be known as Zayn’s girlfriend who also happens to write. If I’m ever going to get a deal and get published, I want it to be by my own work. I don’t want any help to get that,” she told me but I still couldn’t understand it. Why didn’t she want to use all what she could to get what she wanted?

“But I could help you and it would be faster,” I insisted. I knew she deserved to be published, why couldn’t she let me help her?

“I want to do it by myself, why is it so hard for you to understand?!” She exclaimed walking away a few steps.

“I just wanna help you!” I replied back raising my voice, too.

“I know! But I don’t need your help on this. I wanna do this on my own!” She cried out almost infuriated. “You know? It’s obvious you’re not getting this. I’m leaving and we’ll talk about this when you finally understand that this is different for me. I wanna be myself and I want people to know me for me, not because you helped me. I don’t want my name attached to yours when it comes to my writing.” And after that, she left my flat. I spent hours trying to understand her point. I knew she wanted to be herself but maybe we could do it without everyone knowing I was helping her, yet she didn’t even consider that option.

After that fight there were a few tense days until I gave in and told her that if she didn’t want me to help her in that matter, it was okay. After all, I respected her and her decisions. Her convictions were a big part of her that I just loved.

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